Legally Friends
Legally Friends is the weekly podcast where brother-in-law Zach and sisters-in-law Emily and Amy get real about what it's actually like to be family by law. From navigating family vacations and sibling rivalries to dissecting celebrity drama through a family lens, no topic is off limits. Each episode features their signature "Judge & Jury" segment where they give their verdicts on listener-submitted in-law dilemmas — think mother-in-laws who wear white to weddings, husbands who vacation solo with their moms, and everything in between. It's funny, honest, and surprisingly relatable. New episodes drop weekly on Sunday evening.
Reach us at zach@legallyfriends.com or DM us on Instagram @legallyfriendspodcast
Legally Friends
Episode 25: Screen Time Confessions, a Horse Bidding War & 9 Judge & Jury Dilemmas
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Amy confesses to 10.5 hours of screen time a day, Zach is fighting his migraines with red light and cutting Diet Coke, and there's a guy from Texas trying to outbid her on a horse she found on Facebook Marketplace. Then it's go time: this is our giveaway episode, so we announce the sweatshirt winners and put NINE of your Judge & Jury dilemmas in front of the jury.
On the docket this week: a mother-in-law who set up a sneaky playdate, in-laws lining up to book the lake house they never helped renovate, cousins swearing around the little kids, how to announce a pregnancy at a bachelorette, doing all the family planning and getting zero credit, the four words you should never say to someone going through infertility, the "this isn't sponsored" influencer debate, and whether making friends in your 30s really is just like dating. You be the judge.
Got a family dilemma of your own? You're our next Judge & Jury. Send your story via Instagram DM @legallyfriendspodcast or email zach@legallyfriends.com. We read them on the show and keep you anonymous.
If you loved it, follow the show, leave a review, and send it to someone who needs it.
Alright. Episode 25. That's actually.
SPEAKER_03Did you say 45?
SPEAKER_0025.
SPEAKER_03Oh my gosh. It sounded like you said 45, and I was like, no way.
SPEAKER_00We've almost done 25 episodes. But um unfortunately, this is back to virtual, which kind of sucks.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, in person's more fun.
SPEAKER_00I did like it a lot better.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's alright. We'll try and do them. We'll probably do a lot this summer in person.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because you come home every weekend.
SPEAKER_00Most weekends, yeah. But aren't you gonna be gone next weekend potentially? Potentially. But I think I'm gonna try and do one. If you're not there. Or either way, I think we should have Megan on.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I was either gonna do one with just Megan and I or all three of us.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I like those ideas.
SPEAKER_00Okay, we'll do that. So what's the word? What's been going on since I've been gone?
SPEAKER_03Since you've been gone, I have I'm like 80% sure I'm gonna buy a horse tomorrow.
SPEAKER_00Big news. So, question though, are you gonna ship this one back?
SPEAKER_03No. No. This one is a lot better than the first one. A lot better.
SPEAKER_00And it's what 15, 16 years old?
SPEAKER_03It's she's six years old.
SPEAKER_00Oh, whoa. Whoa. Not shopping at the old folks home this time.
SPEAKER_03No, no. I I literally, so it's crazy. Probably no one will care about whatever. So I just like instead of scrolling on TikTok or Instagram, I scroll on Facebook Marketplace for horses.
SPEAKER_00Okay, don't act like you don't do both. But anyway, it's fine.
SPEAKER_03That is majority of my scream time now. And so I'm just like wait, pause. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What is your screen time screen time each week?
SPEAKER_03Should we look it up? I'm actually terrified for what it is.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna guess. I'm going to say.
SPEAKER_03What's a lot?
SPEAKER_00I'm going to say 10 plus hours a week. What is it?
SPEAKER_03Oh, a week?
SPEAKER_00No, per day. Per day.
SPEAKER_03I don't even want to say.
SPEAKER_00Say it. Please say it. What is it?
SPEAKER_03This like actually makes me sick.
SPEAKER_00What is it?
SPEAKER_03Ten and a half hours a day.
SPEAKER_00Ten and a half hours a day? Literally every waking moment you're on your phone.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's a little that's a little depressing. Okay, hold on. Hold on. I'm gonna do a calculation. You can keep talking about your horse, but I'm gonna do something.
SPEAKER_03That like genuinely makes me ill.
SPEAKER_00Uh we can I want to talk more about this because I'm like on a big kick right now about like trying to get off my phone, trying to be healthy. But anyway, keep going about your horse. We'll talk about this in a sec.
SPEAKER_03One of my one of my top apps is my flow app, which like is my period app.
SPEAKER_00How much time are you spending on that?
SPEAKER_03I didn't think a lot, but obviously a lot. The majority of it is messages. Daily average, my highest is messages.
SPEAKER_00At what? Give me I need times.
SPEAKER_03It just let's see.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so let's say I don't know. 10 hours per day. If you did that for what am I trying to calculate here? For one year for 365 days, that is 36, 3,650 hours. You do that for I mean, like half your life is being spent on your phone.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but like in my defense, like you know how some people like watch movies or TV shows on the TV? Like, I watch it on my phone.
SPEAKER_00That's true. I do the same.
SPEAKER_03Or like I have audible and that contributes to screen time.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, I wonder how that works, though. If it's like playing in the background, is that usually Yeah, it's it's under entertainment. Huh.
SPEAKER_03And so is podcasts. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, um, that's a lot of time on your phone.
SPEAKER_03It's a lot of time on my phone. That actually is like a wake-up call.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Sorry for the wake-up call.
SPEAKER_03No, like I didn't like that. Okay, back to what I was saying. So I sit and scroll on Facebook and I saw this horse, and I was like, oh my gosh, she's beautiful. Like, I wasn't, I didn't even really read the listing. I just was like, I'm obsessed with her build, her coloring. Anyway, so I send it to my trainer and she was like, Yeah, message the girl, message her. Anyway, the next day I went and wrote her. I mean and my trainer went out together, did like a little test run, whatever. I really liked her. So we were as we were there, we were talking, and she was like, Yeah, it's so funny. When I posted her, like in like the first like 10 minutes, you wrote me of when I posted the listing. And then she was like, I didn't check my phone for like an hour or two. And she had like over a hundred people text her about the horse. So then she changed the listing and like upped it, up the price a ton to see, like, she was like, obviously, like, since you messaged me with the original price, like you would pay the original price, but she was like, I just wanted people to stop texting me. And she upped the price, and everybody was like, Yeah, no, we still want to come out and ride her. I'm like, okay, well, I don't want to get in a bidding war.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And like, like this guy from Texas came out to Utah to try a horse. The first 30 minutes of the ride, she said the horse spent bucking. Not the horse I, not the horse I'm trying to buy, but a different horse that he literally just drove from Texas, specifically for this random horse that he found. And the entire time it just bucked. And so then he saw her listing, and I'm like, crap, I don't want to get into a bidding war with some like big shot from Texas.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That was buck.
SPEAKER_03The price that she's asking is the highest that I can go.
SPEAKER_00So, like, what's what's she saying? Did she say if you pay this amount of money, if you pay full price, it's yours? Or you or is she gonna make you bid it out?
SPEAKER_03No, she she was just like, I think you guys would actually be a really great fit. And like while I was riding, she was talking to my trainer, and she was like, I like the way she rides, like I like her style. She's not like she's like not super like hard. Like she's not like I'm not really handsy. Um she was like, I she was like, she reminds me of the way that like I ride, my daughter rides, whatever. So and I think she likes that like I'm local and like I'm kind of I like kind of told her I'm like really new into this, and like I need a horse that is gonna push me, but will also like stay with me. And she was like, That's this horse. Like she she's ready to go fast and she'll go fast.
SPEAKER_00Is this the one that Diane loved?
SPEAKER_03Yes, yeah, yes, it's good. I I sent it to your mom and she was like, Yeah, this is your horse. And so we're doing the PPE, which is a pre-purchase exam tomorrow.
SPEAKER_00When's it tomorrow?
SPEAKER_03Tomorrow at two. And so I'm like, Michael, we we gotta get a check. We gotta get a check going because I gotta take this cashier's check to the PPE because if she passes with flying colors, we're swapping.
SPEAKER_00It's okay. I from the house, like going to the whole buying house and trying to offer, I just don't trust anybody. Because she could be totally lying, you know. She could totally be saying, Yeah, I have a hundred people wanting to buy this horse.
SPEAKER_03No, I so I went back, I went back to her listing and I was like, I wonder if it's still up or if she took it down today, like literally an hour ago. And she has like 75 comments being like, Is she still available? How much are you asking? Like, so it's legit, and like the horse market is super, super hot right now.
SPEAKER_00You should flip that horse. You should buy it and sell it for six.
SPEAKER_03Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No. This is gonna be my horse forever. And because she's a girl.
SPEAKER_00Flip it and buy two horses.
SPEAKER_03No. Because she's a girl, I could also get a baby out of her.
SPEAKER_00True.
SPEAKER_03I could get an embryo.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03So that's exciting. So hopefully tomorrow I'll have a horse.
SPEAKER_00Well that I won't return. Because we're recording this before Sunday, so we'll have to give like an update on Sunday if you buy the horse, you know.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. If I buy the horse, you you will know. You'll be seeing it all over socials. My screen time's about to go up even further.
SPEAKER_00Poor poor horse. Little does she know the mom is gonna be on her phone the entire day.
unknownAh!
SPEAKER_03Michael, holy crap, you scared me! Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00Inky guitar blanket.
SPEAKER_03We got a gift.
SPEAKER_00Oh, nice. There you go.
SPEAKER_03Aw, cute.
SPEAKER_00It's their new USA blanket.
SPEAKER_03USA blanket. That's actually darling. I can't wait for that.
unknownNice.
SPEAKER_03Okay, Michael, you're being too loud. Are you going to play basketball? I don't know what he said. I can't hear with my head. Oh, he needs you to play basketball night in America. I actually I can't tell you what it is, but I got you something. And it could possibly be one of the most thoughtful things I've ever done for you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you've never done anything thoughtful for me ever.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so it will be the most thoughtful thing I've ever done for you, other than like caring for and loving your children. I'm like so excited for you to get it.
SPEAKER_00Can I have a hand? Like what is it?
SPEAKER_03No, but you could take a guess.
SPEAKER_00Is it a shirt?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_00That says It's an object. That says shut up, you fat fuck.
SPEAKER_03Honestly, no, but it should. That's what it should be. I actually want to track the shipping.
SPEAKER_00No.
unknownDang it.
SPEAKER_00But I'll be back. Are you wait? You come into my family's party though?
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um that's exciting though.
SPEAKER_03No, I want you to try to guess what it is. It's an object that you can hold.
SPEAKER_00An object I can hold?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it really narrows it down.
SPEAKER_00A red light.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_00Gosh dang it, I want one of those now.
SPEAKER_03I wasn't that thoughtful. Think of more like Is it funny? You. No, it's not funny.
SPEAKER_00It's like a golf club?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_00Basketball.
SPEAKER_03Think of like past you.
SPEAKER_00It's a basketball?
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00A brown basketball?
SPEAKER_03Close.
SPEAKER_00What does that even mean? A Virginia basketball?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_00How is it close then?
SPEAKER_03Just never mind.
SPEAKER_00Okay, you're not gonna give me any hints? An object I can hold. Is it meant to be like used or is it meant to like sit on a shelf?
SPEAKER_03No, no, you use it.
SPEAKER_00I don't play basketball.
SPEAKER_03But I got it for you. Oh, maybe I should have gotten two.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, I got it because I was like, oh, maybe the boys will like this and it also won't like hurt Zack's head.
SPEAKER_00It's a quiet basketball. So you just ruined the surprise already?
SPEAKER_03Well, you guessed it. I what am I gonna do? Lie? But I I like did something to the basketball.
SPEAKER_00Oh okay. You can like customize them. Alright. Did you put something mean on it or is it nice?
SPEAKER_03No, it's nice.
unknownOkay. Alright.
SPEAKER_03Do you just want me to tell you now?
SPEAKER_00No, I want to be surprised a little bit. Don't tell me you have a surprise and then spoil the surprise before I get it.
SPEAKER_03Sorry, I just get so excited.
SPEAKER_00You know who does that? Is your your sister. Well, my wife does the same thing.
SPEAKER_03I know. We just get so excited because like we just like want to tell you now.
SPEAKER_00But then it's just I do like surprises, but I don't ever get one because she spoils it.
SPEAKER_03I know. We we're not good at that. We're not good at surprises. We're not good at giving or receiving surprises. We always spoil it.
SPEAKER_00Wanna know, okay, this is kind of mean, but want to know what kind of chaps my ass about Megan sometimes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, let's hear it.
SPEAKER_00Um sorry, Shannon, for saying the ass word.
SPEAKER_03Um she can get over it.
SPEAKER_00So it'll be Mother's Day, okay, for example, or her birthday. And I, being me, like to do my own thing. But Megan loves to tell me what to give her. So it's like, all right, let me get your gift, but she's like, no, I want this, this, this, and this. It's like, I want my flowers, I want a note drawn by the boys, and this is exactly the note that I want drawn, and then I want this gift or something like that. And it's like, well, then what's the surprise? What's so special about it if you're just telling me what to get before I get it for you? You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Oh.
SPEAKER_00What?
SPEAKER_03Oh, I thought my microphone went red for a second. That freaked me out.
SPEAKER_00No, you're good. You're good.
SPEAKER_03Um, yeah, we just like we don't like surprises, and we like what we like, so it's like, why take the risk of having you who like no offense? You know?
SPEAKER_00What uh what? Say it. Like no offense.
SPEAKER_03Maybe you don't have like the best style, or like maybe that's not really what she wanted. So it's like she's she's just gonna tell you what she wants, and then that way she's like, I got everything that I wanted.
SPEAKER_00Okay, true. But if I'm gonna buy something that has to do with any sort of style, what do I do? I text you.
SPEAKER_03And then you get sometimes you don't because then you're like, you're gonna tell Megan, or like you'll ruin the surprise, or you're gonna tell her.
SPEAKER_00Uh I feel like I always ask you, but you used to spoil the surprise, but I feel like you've gotten better at not. You know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I try. Well, sometimes she just like takes my phone and reads my messages.
SPEAKER_00But it's a lot easier when we're living a thousand way.
SPEAKER_03Uh-oh, Shannon just texted me. Let's see.
SPEAKER_00Oh no. What?
SPEAKER_03She's so dumb.
SPEAKER_00What'd she say?
SPEAKER_03It's like, duh, Captain Obvious.
SPEAKER_00What'd you say? Don't say that for her.
SPEAKER_03No. Close.
SPEAKER_00What? Okay, don't text back. Can you read it?
SPEAKER_03She goes. Don't say anything about anything. I said, okay.
SPEAKER_00What does that even mean? Uh you guys got some secrets? Bruin while I've been out of town?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we're super secretive. No, you know what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_00What?
SPEAKER_03Stupid. Take like really like.
SPEAKER_00Okay. I I don't know, but sure. Whatever. Um everyone's gonna be confused, as confused as me.
SPEAKER_03I'm sure they could figure it out if they wanted to.
SPEAKER_00Alright. I guess a little scavenger hunt, a little Easter egg, Taylor Swift.
SPEAKER_03Well, no, it's just like hello. It's like really not rocket science to figure out what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_00Like, I'm being dead ass right now. I truly do not know.
SPEAKER_03What is one thing that I like to keep a little vague?
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03Welcome to the combo.
SPEAKER_00Thanks. That's true. Everyone knows what you like to be big, which is good, and I try to respect that, okay? I do try to respect it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you do.
SPEAKER_00Um speaking of which. Do you like my advice or do you hate it?
SPEAKER_03No, I like your advice. I like everybody's advice. It will no, that's a lie.
SPEAKER_00I rank people's advice. Who gives the best advice down to the worst in the family?
SPEAKER_03This is a good one. I'm gonna go with Sisters in Shannon, number one.
SPEAKER_00You can what?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay, keep going. I mean, I think that your dad should be number one by far. He's gonna be at least.
SPEAKER_03Not when it comes not when it comes to dating.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03Then it's it'll go like you and Taylor, and then Drew, and then Michael. Michael's last.
SPEAKER_01He doesn't say that.
SPEAKER_03Whatever I ask him, he's just he doesn't ever say anything, and he's like, you'll figure it out. Like, I don't he doesn't ever say anything unless he's only ever said something to me, like I think once or twice, and it wasn't so much advice, it was just like, I don't think you should like that boy. Like, I don't, yeah, no, not for you. And then it that was like, okay, done.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's good. Yeah, you have to listen to that one. If he says that, you have to listen.
SPEAKER_03Well, Shannon was trying to get me to not date this boy for a long time, and I was like, no, I like him, whatever. And then when Michael said something, I was like, Whew, like that really made me take like a long, hard look.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure. You know what I mean? Because he never says anything. Exactly. Yeah, he's definitely a let you figure it out type of person.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So if he says that, it's like uh. But okay, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um I'm still shocked at your screen time.
SPEAKER_03Okay, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00But anyway, this week, okay, that I know we talk about my migraines a lot.
SPEAKER_03But have they been better?
SPEAKER_00Uh a couple days. A couple days I actually like didn't have it, which was a like a first in a long time. So I went to um it was Saturday, went and got an IV.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Just like a like the hydration type of IV, and they have vitamins in them and stuff. But then they put a red light on me. And I didn't really think anything of it.
SPEAKER_03A red light, like, was it just like a panel or was it like a mask?
SPEAKER_00A panel. Okay. Sorry. Intense. And um I never used that and I didn't think anything of it. But after I left, and it happened during it, I like realized my head felt so relaxed and just felt so different. And I was like, what the that's kind of weird.
SPEAKER_03Well, yeah, because red light reduces inflammation.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or do you think it was the IV?
SPEAKER_00No, I think it was the red light. Because then I went and did it again here on my work trip. And they have so I went to a place that was like it was like six, I went at like 6 30 in the morning on Monday and tried it again. And it did the same thing.
SPEAKER_03We gotta get you some red lights.
SPEAKER_00I know, and it lasted like most of the day. But then I did it again on Wednesday, and then I had like my worst migraine yet of the week.
SPEAKER_03So okay, so I have an idea.
SPEAKER_00What?
SPEAKER_03You need to find a beaches tanning center because they have the full body red light. You I think you you should go in the full body red light.
SPEAKER_00I mean, essentially I was doing full body red light because they had four panels, so like two behind me, two in front of me at this place that I'm going to. And so it was full body. Okay. I truly did think it helped. But I think on Wednesday, the day before, I had Diet Coke, and I hadn't had that for a couple days because I went to a restaurant that like I had to have a Diet Coke with the food I was eating.
SPEAKER_03You had to. Was it a Mexican restaurant?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was a barbecue restaurant, and I was I had to. Um So then I think that also triggered it the next day. But anyway, I'm becoming super I don't know, obsessed with looking at the food I'm eating now, looking at red light IVs. Are you good?
SPEAKER_03My foot is asleep and it's like the pins and needles are really hurt hurting.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. But anyway, and then trying to get off my phone as much. Miss screen time. Yeah, it's bad. So I have a long list of things I'm trying.
SPEAKER_03That's good.
SPEAKER_00I'm just trying to avoid medication, which I know you hate.
SPEAKER_03No, I don't hate it. I just like don't really understand it because like I am the type of person that it's like if there's a medication for it and it can make your life easier, like why not? You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00The reason it for me is because I know it has a list of other side effects that come with it.
SPEAKER_03Yes, but not everybody has all of those crazy side effects. Like, yeah, you like you might get one, you might get a few, you might get none. You don't know.
SPEAKER_00Okay, this is just my beliefs.
SPEAKER_03Everybody's different.
SPEAKER_00I just believe there's trade-offs for everything. If you put something in your body, it the there's some trade-off that's gonna show up eventually. You know what I mean? For sure. So that's why.
SPEAKER_03And I just like I have zero pain tolerance. And so, like, if I get a headache or a migraine, like, I'd rather not be in pain. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00I get that. I guess I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I'm just because I wouldn't be able to handle it. Like, I wouldn't be able to function like you. Like when I even when I have a headache, it's like I gotta go, like, don't speak to me. I get in like the worst mood.
SPEAKER_00I do worry with work and stuff. So because what really happens when it gets really bad, I can still tolerate to be like in person doing things, but it's just I can't focus on anything.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because I'm always just thinking about the pain. Um, that's the one hard part, but I don't know. I I'm gonna keep trying different things. If I eventually have to do medication, I will, but yeah. I mean, I've tried a lot of medications, and the thing was nothing was magical, like didn't help.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, that's that's the other hard part. When you're trying like a bunch of different medicine and nothing's working, yeah, then I get that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Anyway, um, we also so I my plan for this episode was to do a lot of judge and jury because Yeah, let's do it. We did our sweatshirt giveaway, or we're going to announce the winners when this episode comes out. And we had a lot of good submissions. And so I'm gonna run we can go through some of them, and people can give their opinions in the comments. But I just think this this is what we need to do this episode, because there were some really good ones. People have some wild stories. Alright. Let's do one of these to start. Um the problem is I hope people don't mind it, but do you think people like they're pretty long? Some are pretty long. Is that okay? Like just me reading for a while? Or should I try and summarize, or what do you think?
SPEAKER_03No, I think it's fine, because like we need to know the whole story.
SPEAKER_00Alright, alright.
SPEAKER_03I don't know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Judge and jury question. My sister-in-law is incredibly emotionally abusive to my children.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_00So they so they aren't allowed around her anymore. We also don't want our kids around her son, just so our kids don't get accused of anything involving him. She's completely delusional and makes up lies about them all the time. While at my son's baseball game on Monday night, my mother-in-law invites me, invites my daughter over to play on her water slide the next day. Next day I found out mother-in-law's babysitting nephew. When I asked my mother-in-law if the plan was already made to watch nephew before she invited my kids over, she said, um, I don't remember the timeline. I'd have to check my text. Ew, she's so manipulative. She totally tried to hide the fact that the nephew was going to be there, even though she is well aware of this boundary. She doesn't like it. Do I have the right to be mad that she doesn't respect the rules and doesn't acknowledge the actions of the sister-in-law? What are our thoughts?
SPEAKER_03Wow, okay.
SPEAKER_00So y'all one more time.
SPEAKER_03Sorry. So it's this mother-in-law's daughter.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_03Okay. So mother-in-law's daughter So she's emotionally abusive.
SPEAKER_00Doesn't allow her kids around her sister-in-law and her kids and her and her son. Mother-in-law plans a play date. Sounds like it was a little pretty, you know, predetermined to invite the nephew over and then bring over her daughter as well, so they'd have to play together.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. See, this you go.
SPEAKER_00Oh my hell.
SPEAKER_03Sorry.
SPEAKER_00If you go on this yawning thing again. But anyway, I think this. I do think the the mom of that's saying, don't let my kid play with their kids. Like the lady they're at the center. I agree with her.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I do think she has a right to be mad. But I just feel like that's what moms like if that was my mom and my mom knew that I didn't let my kids around like my one of my brother's kids.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00I think as a mom, you just want to try and unite your family. So she's gonna probably try and find ways to like bring them together accidentally.
SPEAKER_03Right. Well, especially especially because the sister-in-law wasn't there. So it's like more on like neutral territory.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And yeah, I also think like you can't punish the kids. Like, you can't be like, oh, you you're not allowed to play with so-and-so because they have a crazy mom, especially when the mom's not even there. Like when it's at grandma's house.
SPEAKER_00But it sounds like she specifically doesn't want her daughter around that boy either. So maybe there's something he does, yeah, the way he acts that she doesn't want maybe impacting her daughter.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that that's tricky.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I I I get why she's annoyed at the mother-in-law.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03But also in the mother-in-law's defense, what if what if she did invite the girl over first? And then what if the sister-in-law was like, can you please watch him for a couple hours? And she was like, Yeah, sure. Like they can play on the water side together.
SPEAKER_00But I feel like the mother-in-law would have probably said that straight up. You know what I mean? To not get herself in trouble. I don't know. I do I see.
SPEAKER_03I kind of feel like the mother-in-law would be in trouble either way.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Probably. I wonder I don't know. This one's tough because I understand her she's trying to, you know, set the boundaries, and then the mother-in-law doesn't respect those. And yeah. Um, is it the mother-in-law or her mom?
SPEAKER_03The mother-in-law.
SPEAKER_00It's mother-in-law. But I I don't know. I just in those situations it's hard for me to be mad at the mother-in-law because she's just trying to bring her family together.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So for me, I'd be like, all right, that's annoying. I wouldn't.
SPEAKER_03But I don't think you can like stay mad and be like it would be one thing. It would be one thing if like the sister was there, the sister-in-law or whoever it is, was there. And but like if it was just the kids and they were playing on the water slide, I just think it's kind of like neutral ground. And like the gram that she wants to spend time with her grandkids.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I agree.
SPEAKER_03I don't you can be annoyed. I don't think you can like be like, I don't think you should like get mad at your mother-in-law.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or just be like, hey, next time, like, give me a heads up so I don't find out after the fact.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I think this is.
SPEAKER_03The cover up, I will say the cover-up is always the cover-up is always worse than the crime.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I do think this is one area where it's like put yourself in your mother-in-law's shoes. When you have one kid in their family not allowing their kids to be around, you know, another one of your own childs. Like if that was Dean and Weston, I would be sad about that. And I'd be like, I want to try and make them be friends again.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so I think you can't guilt or like make the mother-in-law feel too bad about it because she's just trying to like help her family.
SPEAKER_02I agree.
SPEAKER_00But at the same time, if I was really that harsh about boundaries, I would just be a little more like, okay, next time I let my kid come over, I'm coming too. And if they're there, then I'll probably leave. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. No, I agree. I think she should either just be like, hey, like, you know, I don't like that. Like, I want to be here next time, or just like give me a heads up, or something. Maybe just like communicate a little more.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But I agree. It's like the mother-in-law is just trying to like do the best she can, spend time with everybody. And the one crazy girl wasn't there, so yeah. I I don't know.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I see your point, but I think my verdict is give some great, you know, give some grace to your mother-in-law.
SPEAKER_03I agree.
SPEAKER_00And just don't be mad at her, but just obviously be careful. If you really don't want them around each other, then go there, verify, or see what's going on when you get to the house, and if they're there, then you can you know sneak out or something.
SPEAKER_03Holy sorry, I thought I hid that better from you. Well, you you looked down. You looked down.
SPEAKER_00Truly an idiot. Okay. Next one. My husband and I bought a second home on a lake about a few hours away. We spent what we spent one and a half years pouring our time, money, and sweat equity into turning it from a fixer upper into a place we're really proud of. Now that the hard work is mostly done, my in-laws, who are nowhere to be found during demo days and renovation weekends, are suddenly lining up to stay. Between family requests, it feels like every summer weekend is getting booked before we even have a chance to make plans ourselves. We love our family and want our kids to have those memories with them, but we also want some weekends with just our four kids, and we'd eventually like to invite friends too. Judge and jury, what's the fair way to handle this? Do we start setting the limits on extended family weekends, or we just accept that sharing the lake house is part of having one? And she said, extra detail. My husband is one of five siblings, and each family has two or more children. If we host each sibling's family once during the summer, plus a weekend for his parents, that's six summer weekends spoken for before we've made any plans of our own. That's a tough one.
SPEAKER_03I I have an idea that she should do.
SPEAKER_00Please.
SPEAKER_03And it's hard because it's like you can't how far out really can you plan what I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_00Like you gotta stop. No one wants to listen to you yawn the entire time.
SPEAKER_03I know. I'm sorry. I don't know. Like, I'm so yawny today.
SPEAKER_00You had a tough day looking at your phone for 10 hours.
SPEAKER_03No, I was riding horses. And that actually is so exhausting, especially in the heat. Okay, anyway. So, what I think she should do is sit down with her husband and be like, okay, what weeks do we want? You would probably want Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, I don't know. Just like, what dates do you want?
SPEAKER_00Thanks for setting their schedule for them.
SPEAKER_03Figure that out, and then be like, hey, there's one week, there's one weekend in June that somebody can have. There's one weekend in August, and whoever claims it first gets it, and then like it's your house. It's your house. You can do whatever you want. They didn't invest in it, they didn't help you. Like, it's your house.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know. I don't this one's tough for me because I don't really relate with it. Like, I would never, if someone, if your siblings or like my brother I know has a house in St. George, like I would never just be like, oh, you just got a house? Like, okay, when can I stay in it?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That one's tough because I I just don't I would never do that. Um if they invited me, that's great. But I agree with what you're saying. They should reserve the weekends they want first, and then just say, All right, these are the open weekends. If you want to reserve one, come. That's great. If not, no worries.
SPEAKER_03But well, and if she doesn't even want them staying there, like if she doesn't want to have them stay there, then don't let them stay there. It's your house. It's not like it's the father-in-law's house who and everybody's fighting over weekends. It's like, no, that's your house. You bought it, you renovated it, you put all the blood, sweat, and tears into it. So if you don't want to let your husband's five siblings and all their snot-nosed kids stay there, then you don't have to.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I agree.
SPEAKER_03And maybe that's like really rude, but I don't know. They could they could go get a lake house, they could rent a lake house. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00No, I agree. And I think I kind of use the similar as vacations in a way. You're probably not gonna like this. But some like I want to have vacations. Yes, I want to go with my family, like my family does one once a year, your family does one once a year, but I don't want all my vacation days being spent on a bake family vacation where I I want to go do one with just my family.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. No, and I get that.
SPEAKER_00And I think that's totally understandable. And so I think for her, it sounds like they're very nice and just kind of let people do things with them whenever they want, and they kind of already have that um what's one what's the word of before? Like uh precedent.
SPEAKER_03Yes, and like they already have that expectation.
SPEAKER_00Yes, they already have that expectation. It's not the word I was looking for, but anyway, like people already know that if they have something, no, it's not you, I just kind of think of the word. Um that they can just come and do it with them, which is really nice, but I think for something like this where you've put so much time and I'm sure your kids are getting older, I would and there's only so many summers left with them, which is kind of sad to say. I would definitely just do exactly what you said, prioritize our weekends and be like, alright, if anyone else wants to come on the other weekends, go do that.
SPEAKER_03Oh my gosh, I just like choked a little bit.
SPEAKER_00You're having some issues.
SPEAKER_03No, like I I really am.
SPEAKER_00Are you good? Can I talk about one other thing that chaps my freaking ass?
SPEAKER_03Uh what?
SPEAKER_00You just like bring it all out of me. I just see you when I get angry. But if you go to the Skull House, you will find 30 Diet Coke cans sitting around the house with just sips. Just sips out of them.
SPEAKER_03Well, because the first few sips of the Diet Coke are the best.
SPEAKER_00It's insane.
SPEAKER_03And then I've okay, also this is what I've discovered about myself. I am a sipper. I don't drink fast. I'm a I like to sip, I like to enjoy. So it's like I'll take a sip, I'll set it down. Take a sip, set it down. And then by the time I get like halfway through, it's like room temperature, and nobody wants to drink a room temperature diet coke. So then I go get a new cold one.
SPEAKER_00It's just hard because um, like I grew up where you finish everything on your plate, you don't ever waste like a drink. If you get a drink and you don't drink at all, I I was getting in trouble. And so then I go to your guys' house and it's like, oh, take one bite. Throw it away.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, see, and we were not throw it away. We were not like that. It was like if my parents made dinner, we always had to try it. And if we tried it and didn't like it, okay, whatever. You can go figure like this is what mom and dad made. So you go figure out what you're gonna do.
SPEAKER_00Just go go put some cheese on a slice of bread and put a microwave.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, or I'd eat frosted Cheerios. Loved frosted Cheerios.
SPEAKER_00I would literally be so angry at your parents. This would drive to that.
SPEAKER_03Well, what are you gonna do? Tape them to the chair and force feed them? It's like you can't do that.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Yep. No, but you're not eating, go to your room. You're not getting food for the night.
SPEAKER_03No, that is so extreme.
SPEAKER_00If I'm gonna make dinner and they're not gonna they're gonna take, we're not gonna try it or just have a little bite.
SPEAKER_03No, that's what I said. You try it, and if you don't like it, okay, well, this is what I made, so I'm not making you something else. So if you want to eat something else, you go figure it out.
SPEAKER_00Cheerios.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I guess we make we make mac and cheese every night, so whatever. But yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um and it's like Weston is such an amazing eater. He will like, if I'm like, what here, Wesie, try this. Nine times out of ten, he's gonna try it and he likes it. Where Dean, he's a little more picky. So it's like, what are you gonna do? Strap Dean down to the chair and be like, try this fish taco that I made. It's like, no.
SPEAKER_00There's been some battles at the dinner table with him.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but it's just like you gotta pick and choose. Like, is that a hill you're gonna die on?
SPEAKER_00Uh a little bit, because I want him to eat good food. I don't want him to eat crap like freaking Cheerios for dinner.
SPEAKER_03Well, then they're gonna eat it.
SPEAKER_00It doesn't have to be looking at TikTok or telling me.
SPEAKER_03It doesn't have to be Cheerios. It could be like I would I also loved to eat grapes and yogurt. That was one of my favorite snacks. Or special case cereal. I also loved special K. The special K? Strawberry specifically.
SPEAKER_00Actually, any cereal that had fruit in it, gross.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely disgusting. Loved special K.
SPEAKER_00Special K sucks. Best cereal? Cinnamon toast crunch.
SPEAKER_03That is a good one, except for it kind of cuts the roof of my mouth. Actually, do you want to know my all-time favorite cereal? Captain Crunch. Oops, all berries. Second favorite of all time? Trix.
SPEAKER_00Trix? What was that little? That was the one with the bunny popping around.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And I used to I used to beg Shannon to get me the Trix yogurt, and she never did.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, my parents would never give me that either. So rude. So rude. Alright, next one. Ready?
SPEAKER_03Ah, now I'm craving Captain Crunch. Should I DoorDash Captain Crunch?
SPEAKER_00If you DoorDash Captain Crunch, I would literally lose you're gonna pay $15 for $3 box of cereal.
SPEAKER_03It was a joke.
SPEAKER_00I and this is something also chaps my ass. I hate DoorDash. Truly, with all my heart, I hate it.
SPEAKER_03I love DoorDash. It is so convenient.
SPEAKER_00Well, partially I love to go to the store. I love walking through a grocery store.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I hate going to the store. I hate it with a passion.
SPEAKER_00I could walk through a grocery store for a long time.
SPEAKER_03I hate it.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, all right. Judge and jury. I live close to my husband's girl cousin who has four kids that are similar ages to mine. She's a stay-at-home mom, homeschool mom, and is wait, what? She's a stay-at-home slash homeschool mom and is never with them. I don't get it. Okay. Wait. I guess I guess she's gonna explain now. Did you get that? She she's a stay-at-home homeschool mom, but she's never with the kids.
SPEAKER_03So does that mean she homeschools other people's kids?
SPEAKER_00No, her own kids.
SPEAKER_03But then how is she never with them?
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna explain.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00They come to me in the neighborhood when they need a snack, drink, or get hurt. They're good kids, but older than mine, and turning out to be not of role models as not of role models as I hope. So turning out to be not as good a kids as she really would like.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00I'm also the only mom that is consistently outside monitoring the kids in the neighborhood playing, but I'm needing help on what to do when her kids are being a star star bulls.
SPEAKER_02Mmm.
SPEAKER_00I.E. saying naughty words, playing more mature games. I want my kids to be able to play freely in the neighborhood, but I but I do I parent her kids for her or talk to her about them? My husband thinks I'm making issues where there isn't one help.
SPEAKER_03That's really, that's really tough because I used to. I don't know. I used to like I just remember when I was younger, like I used to be like, Emily, like why are you letting Capri or Canon do this? Or why would you let them do that? Or and it's just like they're kids, they're gonna figure it out. Also, like if they're older, like teenagers, like yeah, like I remember being in like eighth and ninth grade and like being like this punk teenager who like thought it was hilarious to like swear, or like so it's like at some point you just like they're kids, and it like I get that like you don't want your younger kids hearing that, but they're gonna hear it no matter like they're gonna hear it at school, they're gonna hear it at the mall, they're gonna hear it with their other friends. So you can't like blame it all on the cousins being like, well, they swear, because it's like, okay, don't clutch your pearls too quick. I'm sure your kids maybe swear when you're not around, or I'm sure they've already heard it. But on the other hand, I do get that you don't want your kids to hear that. And it's like, well, my cousin said it, so why can't I? So like I get that. I would be very cautious if you do talk to the cousin. I would be very cautious of like how you word it. And maybe I don't know, maybe just send her this podcast episode.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, maybe. What do you think? I have a very I mean, I have a different answer than you. I am of the mentality it takes a village to like raise kids, you know? And uh I think sometimes kids need to hear things from other people because they don't like to listen to their parents. So if like my kid was acting like that, I would have no problem with someone in the neighborhood saying, Dean, shut your mouth and stop saying those things around my kids. Like, but at the same time, I know a lot of parents are not that way.
SPEAKER_03There are parents who would be like, My Johnny would never.
SPEAKER_00But then at the same time, if that happens, I'd be like, fine, take your kids away, like control your kids, get them away from my kids. Yeah, you know what I mean? But I'm kind of a dick that way, like, and I have no filter. But um, that's what I would say. I would say, say something, because what you're doing is protecting your own kids.
SPEAKER_03So would you say something to the kid cousins or to the adult cousin mom?
SPEAKER_00I'd say some of the kids' cousins. If I'm outside and I'm with And you don't have to be mean about it.
SPEAKER_03You could just be like, hey guys, like don't swear around them. Or like, let's not talk like that around the little ones.
SPEAKER_00I was like, hey, watch your mouth, like around the four-year-olds and the two-year-old. Like if it's my little voice, right?
SPEAKER_03Um and you have said that to us. Like, I mean, not a proud ant moment. When we were in Virginia and Dean said stupid ba.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's it's like those little things.
SPEAKER_03And you got mad at me, and I was like, Yeah, you're right, sorry.
SPEAKER_00Or, like, for example, I there was a cousin, and this isn't a bad thing, but it's just something Megan and I don't like. They were watching YouTube shorts together, and I was just like, hey, I was just like, hey, can you not watch those with the boys just because we don't let them watch them? Just like super nice. And then the cousin was just like, yeah, turn it off and it was fine. Like it's not a big deal.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you don't have to. I feel like it's all about your presentation. If you come across like super like, hey, then the it's like I don't know, just how you said, like, if you kind of like say it like no big deal, then they'll treat it as a no big deal.
SPEAKER_00But my thing is if it's teenagers, teenagers I feel like will just walk all over you sometimes if you don't do that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Whereas like the cousin I'm talking about the sweetest. Like I'm this she's gonna be nice about anything, and like it's fine. But if uh if it's like teenage cousins, I would definitely be like, eh, like I'd be like, wash your mouth. Like, what are you doing? You know what I mean? Because I feel like they're not gonna like respect you if you just say like, hey, like guys, can you like not say that please? I feel like they're gonna be like Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I don't know either. That's a tough one. I yeah, I would say I would say maybe say something to the teenagers, and then if they say something to their mom and she says something to you, then just be like, Well, this is what they were saying, and I didn't want that around my kids. So either tell your kids to stop saying that, or like tell them not to come over to my house for snacks anymore. Tell them to go home.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. And and that's what I would say to if that happened, where the sequence is like, I say something to kids, then the mom, the cousin comes to talk to me, I'd be like, that's fine. Then your kids are not gonna be allowed over at my house to get snacks or anything anymore because they're using bad language and they're not respecting what I'm asking for. So I'm gonna kick them out every time.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and you can be like, I get that they're teenagers and they think it's like cool and whatever, but I have younger kids and like they don't need to talk like that. Like, I know they'll probably get there eventually, but like let's preserve their innocence and childhood for as long as we can.
SPEAKER_00And just like you said earlier, it's so much easier when it you see someone like your brother or your cousin swearing to be like, oh, they do it. I'm gonna do it too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So I don't know. Yeah. That's my thoughts on that one. I think that's what I think that's good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't I don't think it's like that crazy to be like, hey, can you you like not like if you want to talk like that, fine, I don't care, but just not when the little kids are around.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I don't think that's a big deal. I don't think that's bad.
SPEAKER_00And if they cry about it, their their mom, like that's fine. Who cares? You can talk to mom about it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Um I have another one. Judge injury. I'm very early pregnant, and I'm going to a sister-in-law's bachelorette next weekend, where there will be a lot of drinking and it'd be very hard to hide it. She also knows we're going to try for a second soon. I want to tell her in person in a very casual, not a big deal way, but the first night also happens to be my birthday. And I really don't want to make her weekend about me. Do I just tell her before, which feels lame, she says, or tell her super casually at the first dinner by declining a drink. So basically, does she make it a big deal about herself or just send a text or something before?
SPEAKER_03No, I would I would say something before. I wouldn't, I wouldn't what save it for the dinner. That feels like you're making it about you. Being like, Oh, sorry, I'm not drinking, and then everybody being like, Well, why aren't you drinking? And then it's like, oh, I'm pregnant, and then everybody's like, oh my gosh, like that feels more about that the rest of the night. Like attention-y, even if you're not trying to like do it like that, but like that feels more like stealing the spotlight a little bit, than just like if you were to have like an announcement or like text her and be like, Hey, like, just so you know, I and maybe she doesn't want to like announce it to the world yet, but like just like tell who is it, the sister-in-law. Yeah, just tell the sister-in-law, be like, Hey, I'm pregnant, so like I'm not gonna be drinking, but like I I don't want it to be like a big deal, just so you know, or whatever, or just be like, I'm pregnant, and then you don't even have to be like, but I don't want to steal your thunder, just be like, I'm pregnant, can't wait to celebrate with you this weekend. Like, oh yeah, yeah. I would I would tell her before the trip though.
SPEAKER_00For sure. I think that's not a good look. I think she'll be mad if you waited till the trip.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, if you like waited till the first dinner, especially like on your birthday, that feels a little like I want attention.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_03And I get if you're not ready to tell everybody else, you don't have to, but I would tell her and be like, oh my gosh, I just found out I'm pregnant.
SPEAKER_00What do you think's gonna happen though when she does get on the trip? And then everyone sees her not drinking, and then they ask questions.
SPEAKER_03Do people like really like notice it that much? Like, oh my gosh, she's not drinking.
SPEAKER_00I went to happy hour today, and everyone is asking, why aren't you drinking? Happens all the time.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_00Every time I go to something like that, people always ask.
SPEAKER_03Well, if you don't, if you don't want to say, like, oh, I'm pregnant, just be like, oh, I don't feel good, or get a diet coke and be like, oh, it's in it's mixed in, or get a club soda and be like, vodka soda. I don't know. Like, yeah, or ask for a shot glass and have them fill it with water. I don't freaking know.
SPEAKER_00I mean, yeah, I I agree. I want to try I would try to avoid bringing it up at the bachelorette thing.
SPEAKER_03Just because Yeah, but you should you the girl you should tell the girl before.
SPEAKER_00Yes, tell her before, and then find a plan, like have a plan for how you're gonna say why you're not drinking, or I don't feel good, or I'm trying not to drink as much alcohol anymore. Doesn't make me feel good. Like I've heard all those excuses before with other people.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And people are usually like, it's fine, but yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think that's I didn't think that people like monitored that like so closely.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. Every time I'm at something, even from in college or anything I've ever gone to where people are drinking, and I'm never drinking, they always ask why not.
SPEAKER_03That's crazy. I've never because like I've been around people drinking where I haven't drank, and they've never asked me why aren't you drinking?
SPEAKER_00I think it's because it's a very easy icebreaker question of oh, what are you drinking tonight? And people love to ask that to be like, oh Yeah, I always just say, Oh, diet coke. Yeah, I don't know. Then they always ask me, well, why like why not an alcohol or beer or something like that? Wine or something. But anyway.
SPEAKER_03Don't know.
SPEAKER_00Alright, next one. I feel my siblings in-laws take me for granted, and I don't know if I should say something. Backstory, my husband and I are the oldest of the siblings, and I love to shop. So I've taken on the gift buying for my parent-in-laws for all birthdays slash events. I love it and try to find gifts that my in-laws would love and want. All the kids go in on the presents together. But after 10 years, it's starting to feel like none of them care at all about the time and energy I put into gifts, but also into planning and family time and events. I always make sure we're getting together, that birthdays, anniversaries don't get forgotten, and that the family group chat is connecting everyone. And these are my in-law family. So she's she's an in-law. My my birthday just went by and not a single sibling-in-law remembered it. I'm not a big birthday person, and I definitely don't expect gifts or anything, but I was hurt that none of the six of them, or my father-in-law, even bothered to text. Two weeks after my birthday, one son-in-law sent a oops, sorry, hope it was a good hope it was good text, and that was it. And then nothing on Mother's Day from any of them. I know that my sister-in-law's and mother-in-law all went out together, and it I and it's totally fair that they do their own thing. I did the same thing with my mom that week, but it hurt that it was during the week when I'm on maternity leave and easily could have been invited, even as a courtesy. Am I wrong to feel sad? It feels it really feels like unless I'm the one doing the work slash planning everything, no one can be bothered to even remember I'm part of the family. I've let it go, but it's definitely made me step back from the group chat and feelings like I need to organize things for everyone to get together. Why should I put in effort if none of them care? And there's a little bit more here, just to further explain. Me and uh my husband My wait, me and my husband Wait, wait, wait. Just to further explain. My and my husband, their brother. Contributions. We live over one and a half hours from the rest of the family, and we try to visit every other weekend with their three kids just for a meal. The only time any of them come to our house is our kid's birthday, aka three times a year, if they can make it. That was a long one. Summarize. She does all the planning for the in-laws. Birthdays, buys all the presents, does all that. She had her birthday, no one texted her. No one texted her on Mother's Day. The mother-in-law took the sister-in-laws out, she didn't get invited, and they drive an hour and a half just to go to dinner uh pretty often for like Sunday dinners and stuff, and no one ever comes to their house. What are your thoughts?
SPEAKER_03Okay, I have two thoughts.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03On two separate sides. On one side, it's like, okay, so you love shopping and you love gift giving. Great. And like that, you kind of like, I mean, she kind of said like she made herself into like that position. And so everybody contributes, great, great. Okay, so I don't see an issue with that. The issue I have is why are you planning everything? Where are the daughters? Where's your husband? Is your husband not texting in the family being like, happy birthday, so and so? Like when there's a birthday, usually it's Michael or Shannon or like Emily or like whoever who's ever say it's Taylor's birthday. It's either Michael Shannon or Emily texting in the morning on the family group chat, being like, Happy birthday, Taylor, hope you have a great day. And then that's like it's like, oh, it's Taylor's birthday. I gotta text him, I gotta call him. Yeah. To kind of like remind everybody, like, hey, it's his birthday. So it's like, where's your husband? Being like, Happy Mother's Day, happy birthday. Cause it's like, I don't know, like you just forget. I don't know. And so my biggest thing is like, where the hell is your husband? And where the hell are the sisters? Like, I think it's weird that she's in charge of planning like all the events and like mother or father's day, mother's day, birthday, like whatever, dinners, like whatever it might be. Like, this isn't even your family. You should be taking a back seat. Where are the sisters?
SPEAKER_00I agree.
SPEAKER_03That's what I think is the most weird.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I that's a good point on the the husband. Like, where is he? Like, what's going on in this group chat?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because that's maybe they don't have one, maybe they don't have that type of dynamic.
SPEAKER_03No, but she's she she said that they they have a group chat and nobody said anything.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Because let's be honest. I don't know any of my in-laws' birthdays by heart. I can't tell you one. So sorry to my in-laws. I don't know your birthdays. But usually it's my, as you said, in my family group chats, like my mom or the person.
SPEAKER_03Someone's like the spouse or something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the spouse. But it's usually my mom or dad that remember the birthdays. And then they'll send a text to let everybody know, like, it's someone's birthday. Like, say happy birthday. So I do, I do agree, like what was happening there. Because that's an easy thing for the husband to do.
SPEAKER_03But uh or or he could he doesn't even have to put it in the group text with her in it. He could make a separate group text and be like, hey guys, it's so-and-so's birthday. Make sure you text her.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_03Where's your husband?
SPEAKER_00Just send it to my. I would what I would do is send it to my mom and be like, hey, it's Megan's birthday today. Make sure you tell her happy birthday. But like Yeah. They always remember, but anyway. And then what's my second point? My second point was, yeah, stop planning these freaking presents and events and gifts and stuff.
SPEAKER_03Like the gifts, I think, is fine. I I don't see an issue with the gifts.
SPEAKER_00But if no one else is doing it, I just wonder what was happening before she entered the family. Like, I understand they're the older ones and kind of the the older siblings always trying to like take care of the rest of the family and kind of set traditions and everything. But before she entered the picture, who was buying gifts? Like, what was happening?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I don't know. But she also said that she likes buying the gifts and she's good at it, and everybody contributes. So I I really don't if they weren't contributing, I would be like, Yeah, you gotta stop doing this. But I I don't see an issue with the gifts. I see more of an issue with like and also I'm thinking of gifts as like birthday and Christmas.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03That those are the it's like, yeah, you can get two gifts a year. I don't see an issue with that. And this is should be the children, like that's right, the siblings. Like, where is your husband and his siblings?
SPEAKER_00I agree.
SPEAKER_03Like maybe you should have a chat with your husband and be like, I'm sick of doing this. You and your siblings need to figure this out. Bye.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I mean, I I I get it. Feeling unappreciated for things is annoying. And especially when you do it, you do it for such a long time, and then you can't even get a lousy like happy birthday text.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, that's that's annoying, and that would freaking piss me off. So just be like, guys, I've done it for 10 years, I'm tapping out. This isn't even my family. You take care of it.
SPEAKER_00Like, yeah, I'll still help find the gifts and do it.
SPEAKER_03And I'll contribute. Like if somebody else buys a gift, I'll pay my share of it, whatever. But like no done. And maybe don't drive up there every week. Maybe do like once a month.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Because it's it's like you feel unappreciated, so I I hate I have to like kind of flip the script and make them feel like they're missing you in a way, or like something has changed. For them to like just realize like how much they've appreciated it and how much work you've done.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00You have to like you have to pull back for them to be able to see that, you know?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I just where's the husband?
SPEAKER_03Find the husband because tell him how to he's gotta figure some things out with his siblings.
SPEAKER_00I agree. I agree. Alright. This one is a chap's my ass, though. But we can kind of turn it. It's judge and jury, so and I love this one actually. This is one of my favorites. My in-laws live across the country and come visit once a year. They play with my kids for one to two hours tops, and then are disengaged and on their phones the rest of the time. We offer go do things with them, but they want to literally sit in front of the TV on their phones all day long. She added, clapping. You have done this before. Miss 10 hours a day on her phone.
SPEAKER_03Whatever.
SPEAKER_00You guys I mean, okay, this is my thing. I get where she's coming from because I am the exact same way.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like, I want to go do things. And I get the like the sitting on the phone. Yes, that pisses me off when Amy comes all the way across the country and sits and she'll play with the kids, but then also she sits on her phone a lot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Like your your family. I do do that. Your family does not like to go do things. Your family, your like um love language is just being around each other.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, our love language is quality time. It doesn't matter. Like, we could be doing nothing, but we want to be doing nothing together.
SPEAKER_00It pisses me off to no end. Because like my family, and this is where I'm sure hers is similar, it's like you go somewhere, you want to go see things and do things. And so for me, it's yeah, that quality time, but I also want to go explore and adventure and show you a good time where we live and show you all the cool things. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03I do feel like my family is like a pretty good mix of like, okay, let's go out and do this, and then like let's come home and chill, like take a few hours, relax, scroll, and then like let's go back out for dinner. Like, I feel like we're kind of good at doing that.
SPEAKER_00Um, but I want to say good, but you're if it wasn't for your dad being there, like you're you guys would not leave that couch. And you and the problem and the thing is you guys would leave completely happy and and you would feel like you had a great trip.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah. Cause we just it doesn't matter what we're doing. Like if the kids are like happy, having fun, they're playing in the playroom. The other thing too is I feel like my family thinks it's like a burden almost. Like when you and Megan were in Virginia, it was like, okay, let's like go to their house and like stay at their house. Cause like it's we feel like it's easier for you guys, and we feel like it's a burden to have you guys like have to be like our tour guide around Virginia and like pack up the boys. And so for us, it's like, no, like yeah, like let's say here, let's DoorDash dinner, let's make dinner here. Because in our minds, we think that it's easier for you. Where like you and Megan are like, no, like let's just go out and do stuff.
SPEAKER_00I feel part of it is, and this is I don't know. This is I don't know if other people feel this way. When you live somewhere else and we have like our own life in a different state, it's like we want to show you the life that we love here. Yeah. And like show you all the cool things. And so we don't view it as a burden. So I'm sure it'll be the same when you guys come to Dallas. It'll be like, we want to show you all the fun things that we've done or we've found, and the good restaurants, and the cool things to do with the kids. Because like we we think it's so fun and want to like share that with you. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But as I don't know. That's that's just the way I well.
SPEAKER_03I feel like we did that. We went to all the best restaurants. We went to Okay.
SPEAKER_00We had to drag you out sometimes. Yes, we you don't feel like we dragged you out.
SPEAKER_03You dragged me fishing, and I am the first to admit that I was very hesitant, and then I had the best time. I thought it was so fun.
SPEAKER_00It was yeah, you didn't want to leave.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, I was the last one in the car. Zach was like, freaking get in the car.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was late. We had I was starving. Um I can't, I had some other point I wanted to say, I just forgot it.
SPEAKER_03Sorry.
SPEAKER_00Um I don't know. I relate with this one a lot, but it's also understanding I you guys aren't that way.
SPEAKER_03You know, we're not to that extreme. I feel like we try we try to be like a good mix. Because I mean, let's face it, we all know that we love to be horizontal. I love to be horizontal. I mean, hello, I'm in my pajamas. Like, I can't wait to go lay in my bed.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like I'm being horizontal genuinely is one of my favorite things.
SPEAKER_00I just I hate that phrase.
SPEAKER_03Why? You're horizontal.
SPEAKER_00Never mind. I'm not gonna say why.
SPEAKER_03Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00Um but for this one, what I would do if I were her, I would just plan it before they get there. And just be like, and I'd I'd meet in the middle though. Don't plan a full day, because that'll make them miserable, sounds like, if they just want to sit. Like you guys, I would never go from I wouldn't take you out from nine in the morning until dinner. Like you guys wouldn't have.
SPEAKER_03Oh no, we would be dead.
SPEAKER_00We're tired. So I would just maybe plan like one activity a day, which is what we did. And we go do that, and then give some time for them to sit on their phones, but try and get them out of the house and be like, we're leaving. So if they want to sit in the house by themselves, I guess go for it, but that's Yeah. Yeah. I get it though. I I get it. That's a good one. Alright. Should we do another? Just keep rolling.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, whatever you think.
SPEAKER_00It's a long one. My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for ten years. Had multiple IUIs. Which what's that? Can you explain that to me?
SPEAKER_03It's like a step below IVF.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00Two miscarriages, which I'm sorry to hear that. And have been able to afford haven't been able to afford IVF yet. A friend who's been going through infertility for I want to say a year or two. Can't be that long because they've only been married for two years. Said to me, At least you know you're capable of getting pregnant, so you're not as severe as us.
SPEAKER_03Oh no.
SPEAKER_00I don't want to blast her because I remember the early days of infertility, never knowing if I could even get pregnant, and did for the first time seven years into infertility. But at the same time, would never think to compare my infertility with others like that. I'm just shocked she could even think like that. I'm trying to give her a lot of grace because I know how crazy infertility can make people, but at the same time, I'm so hurt and bugged. Um she even thinks that and had the nerve to say that to me ten years and with no baby. Am I wrong to stop uh to stop talking to her?
SPEAKER_03No, I think it's and this might be horrible to say. I think it's worse that she got pregnant and had two miscarriages. She lost two babies. So for her to like diminish being like, well, at least you can't get pregnant. Well, it's like, okay, well, I lost those two babies. That's worse. Like having that, like, oh my gosh, like after 10 years, we're finally pregnant, like we did it, and then you lose the baby, like that's worse than just not being able to get pregnant.
SPEAKER_00I couldn't imagine that is so hard.
SPEAKER_03Like, like both city moves are hard to even had the audacity to say that to her friend, like, is shocking, and I would be hurt too. I would be like, So it's like you you can't say that.
SPEAKER_00I think that's just a weird thing to like compare to.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00These chicks like comparing infertility with someone.
SPEAKER_03Well, and also one girl's ten years in, one girl's a year in.
SPEAKER_00Two years, yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's nothing like in an inf a lot of people's infrar infertility journeys are years long. I mean, like even without doing IVF or Clomet or IUI, the nor an average person, it takes like almost a year to even get pregnant. So it's like, buddy, you're just getting started. Like, don't compare yours to mine. You cannot compare the two and don't say, well, at least you can get pregnant. Uh no, no, no, no, no. That is dead wrong. Now, do I think you need to completely cut her off? No. I would talk to her and be like, Yeah, I don't know how close to the city.
SPEAKER_00What's wrong with you?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, if you're if you're like best friends, have a conversation. If you're just like kind of like outer circle or like friends of friends, yeah, I I want to talk to her again.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm a believer in having people with good energy around you that like bring the best out of you. And especially when you're going through 10 years of trying to get pregnant, I would be like, I'd be pretty quick to like cut people out and be like, see ya. Like bye. Well, so I wouldn't want the energy around me. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03No, yeah. So I know this girl, she's one of mine and Megan's really good friends. Her and her husband had to do a few rounds of IVF. And she had miscarriages. It was really, really sad, really, really hard on her. Her friend, since high school, maybe even middle school, like her childhood friend got pregnant like that. Got pregnant like that with her second baby. She said to Mine and Megan's good friend, and her childhood friend, like, I don't know if I can be friends with you because like I have a kid or two, and like you don't have any kids, and like I just don't know like what to talk to you about anymore.
SPEAKER_00And it's like, that's so freaking insane.
SPEAKER_03Like, what is wrong with people? It's like so now because you're a mom, like you can't talk, you can't still talk to your childhood friend because she doesn't have kids and she's going through IVF and you have a kid, it's like, where's the logic? Where's the common sense? Not in there. It's like so concerning. Like, I'm like to my friend, I'm like, do you ever like talk to her? And she's like, no, I stopped talking to her after that, and like she'll like still try to reach out to me, and like I just don't respond because it's like, and she like I don't think the friend even really understands like what she how she's uh what she said was so hurtful.
SPEAKER_00I struggle being around people that cannot put themselves in other people's shoes, like it kills me. If you can't understand, and and that's probably that's probably probably why I always do the devil's advocate thing. Because I I always just I don't know, it's just my way my brain works. I'm always just like, okay, what would it be like to be them?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And going through that. Like I I I can't be around people that can't see another like side of something to be like how me saying that or not being friends with this girl because she doesn't have kids, like, what the freak is wrong with you? Like so insane. And like this lady comparing infertility, that's nuts.
SPEAKER_03And it's crazy to me, because you think that the the one girl who said, like, well, at least we know, like, at least you know you can get pregnant. It's like you think that she would use her almost like a sounding board being like, okay, like I'm a year in, a year or two in, you're 10 years in. Like, what do you like? It's like instead of being like, Oh, well, at least you know you can get pregnant, it's like she could have been like, is there anything that you would have done differently? Like if you could go back, or like if you could go back and tell yourself something in my shoes, what would you say? Or it's like just like relate to her. Like you don't have to compare, but like you can relate how you're both going through infertility and how it sucks, and how it's like so normal now. Like the infertility rates have skyrocketed in even the last like 15 to 20 years.
SPEAKER_00Food and other things, anyway. Um, I I'm a big believer in that. Sorry, that's no way.
SPEAKER_03It's 100% true. It's not only is it food, plastic, there's plastic in our like, for example, I just bought all new tampons, and Michael is like, why did we buy so many tampons? And it's like, well, because these are 100% organic cotton instead of the tampex that has like microplastics and arsenic and chemicals, they're going through like a massive lawsuit right now. It's so crazy, and it's like that could be causing infertility. I could have infertility because I've used tampex for years.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's crazy. Anyway, anyway. Um jinx. Anyway, um, this one I do feel like she's justified.
SPEAKER_03If if you're not that close, I would be like Yeah, if someone said that to me, I would be like, I don't like I'm good. I don't want to be friends with somebody who thinks like that. That's effing weird.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Janet's not gonna be happy that I said effing, but whatever.
SPEAKER_00I think that's justified in a situation.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's just like, ugh, ew. Like, don't be a weirdo. That girl's a weirdo.
SPEAKER_00Knowing she's been through two miscarriages, like I could not even imagine how tough that is. And to have go through such a long time of trying to get pregnant, going through two miscarriages, and to have someone say that, that's just that's not a good idea.
SPEAKER_03It just like diminishes everything. Like that she's not a good friend. Bye. Goodbye. And I'm not usually uh I feel like usually I'm kind of like, oh, like, don't cut somebody off. Like, give them some grace, like talk it out. No, no.
SPEAKER_00Not in this situation, not in this situation.
SPEAKER_03Goodbye.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I agree. All right. This one is this one's kind of funny. Not not a good transition. But um how many more do I have? Got okay. Okay, two more. This one moved quick. This one's another chap's my arse. About influencers.
SPEAKER_03Oh, uh oh.
SPEAKER_00She says, it really chaps my arse. I can't say ars anymore.
SPEAKER_03No, just say ass. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00It really chaps my ass when influences inf influences, influences, influencers are like, guys, this isn't sponsored. I actually love it. Oh, so this is the one time you're telling the truth. Good to know the rest of the time you're just in a committed relationship with whoever's cutting the check. I agree.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I mean, yeah, I get it.
SPEAKER_00Um influencer business is weird. Like being on the other side and seeing kind of Megan go through it.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00It's a wild world. And but I do think I've always been like proud of Megan for that, where she doesn't she really doesn't just take anything. She would never take she would never do like an advertisement or pay dad with a company that she would actually doesn't support.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um but at the same time, I do understand it for people. Like they're making it's their job.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00It's like someone, it's like someone filming a commercial. Like, do you see you see commercials and you see that actor supporting a business and you're like, oh, so this is the one time you're telling the truth? Like, no, we don't, we don't think that. Like, yeah. But that's that's literally what people are doing is filming commercial. Yeah. I don't know. Your thoughts.
SPEAKER_03No, I do get it. I think I think influencers on the influencer side, you have to be careful because the FTC has kind of like started cracking down on if you are posting about a product and you don't specifically say like partner or ad or whatever. And people will just like report you because they either don't like you, they don't like the product that you're posting on your Instagram, or they're just like haters, and so they're just gonna report you. So on the influencer side, if they post a video talking about a product and somebody's like, this is an ad, and they didn't like make it known that it's an ad, and then they get reported to the FTC, and then the FTC like audits them or shuts them down, like whatever. So from the influencer side, I can see why an influencer would be like, This is not sponsored. I just like genuinely love this product. But then on the viewer side, I yeah, it's annoying. It's like, okay, so then the sponsored stuff, do you actually love it or do you only love it because they're writing you a check? And maybe it's both. It could totally be both. You can love it, and you can also be getting a check, which is amazing. And might I add to this person who wrote in, if Diet Coke, I said that because I'm staring at my Diet Coke can, if Diet Coke wrote you tomorrow and is like, hey, we'd pay you five thousand dollars to promote Diet Coke, you cannot sit here and tell me that you would not take that deal. Or even like Pepsi. If Pepsi wrote me and was like, hey, Amy, actually, no, I really don't think I could because like I genuinely don't like the taste of Pepsi.
SPEAKER_00But you okay, they say 10K, you're doing it.
SPEAKER_03Okay, yeah, 10K. Yeah, I I would do it for 10K. Even though I love Diet Coke, like I'm a ride or die Diet Coke. Unless you're gonna pay me 10K, then I'm not ride or dying for Diet Coke.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. There's a number for everything. There's a number for everything.
SPEAKER_03So it's like, remember, this is their job, and they're they're just trying to spread the word about a product. Like it's really not that deep.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So it's a commercial. Like it literally is a commercial.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's like, do I think that what's that one commercial that um okay? For example, Sydney Sweeney, when she did the American Eagle ad. Do we actually think Sydney Sweeney is wearing American Eagle jeans? Probably not. She's like one of the most famous actresses in the world. She's probably wearing designer jeans. She's probably not walking around town in her American Eagle jeans every single day.
SPEAKER_00Maybe she is.
SPEAKER_03Maybe she is, maybe she's not. They paid her a lot of money. So she's gonna do what they tell her, or like stock price went crazy after that, too. Anyway, I don't know. It's just like or like Kylie Jenner. Did you see she just did the meta the meta glasses?
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, those look ridiculous.
SPEAKER_03Okay, I will say, they are the cutest like meta glasses I've seen.
SPEAKER_00Well, but still.
SPEAKER_03But it's like, do we really think that Kylie Jenner is gonna be wearing those driving her Rolls Royce around? No, she's gonna be wearing her Chanel, her designer sunglasses, but Meta paid her Buco bucks to do that. So she's gonna be like, heck yeah, I'm gonna promote these weird AI glasses. Like, hello.
SPEAKER_00It's true.
SPEAKER_03It's not rocket science, people.
SPEAKER_00But but you're right, though. If people do say, guys, this isn't sponsored, I actually love it. That means they actually have to like it because if not, they could get sued. So yeah.
SPEAKER_03I mean, no, like seriously, you have to be careful. People are crazy, and if they don't like you, they will do anything to kind of like see your downfall.
unknownTrue.
SPEAKER_01True.
SPEAKER_03So I get why influencers say it. Do I still think it's annoying? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like I mean, I get it though. I get it. Um Alright, next last one. We'll make this quick. I recently moved to Miami full time and have been making new friends. One of my newer friends, one of my newer girlfriends, had a birthday recently and invited a group of women, including a friend of hers, from before she had kids. The two of us really hit it off, and as it turns out, we live pretty close to each other in Miami. I loved to get to know her better and potentially build a friendship, but I've had situations in the past where a friend re wait, where where a friend introduced me to someone. We clicked, and then the original friend seemed to get oddly territorial jealous, or started subtly talking negatively about the other person. Because of that, I've become hesitant in these situations. I thought Amy would be a good person to ask because she comes from four sisters, and I'm pretty sure there's been plenty of overlap in their friendships over the years. Is this a really is this a real gray area in female friendships, or am I overthinking it and just had um sorry, I have to find this on the Okay. Am I overthinking it and just had bad luck? By the way, I'm married in my young 30s. Never ran into these issues in my 20s. I've only had this happen in the last two years. What do you think?
SPEAKER_03Okay. I think if your friends introduce you to somebody and then they get weird if you're like hanging out with that friend, that friend's a weirdo.
SPEAKER_01Like, yeah, that's odd.
SPEAKER_03That is so bizarre. I have introduced dating? Yeah, I have introduced a couple of my friends to like my best high school friends, and like they have their own friendship outside of like the group friendship, and I don't care. Or like some of my best friends are Emily and Rachel's friends.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03So it's like, and like I call and text them outside of like Rachel and Emily. I don't know. I just think that is so weird. It's like you don't have any other things going on in your life that you're gonna care that you introduce these people. Like you should be happy that your two friends are being friends and they have a lot in common and they live by each other. It's like, yeah, agree, go be friends. Especially she just moved to Miami. Like, hello. Why are people so weird? Like, where's the logic? Where's the common sense? Like, I didn't really think that like I had a lot of logic, but like apparently I do because like this is so bizarre to me.
SPEAKER_00So, okay, hold on.
SPEAKER_03This friend is not saying that she No, but she said in the past she has run into this issue.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, with someone else. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Yes. So I'm talking about that. Like, I don't understand. And maybe because of that situation, she's probably overthinking it because she's probably like, I'm new to this city and I don't want to lose this friend because this happened in the past. But I just think okay, I don't know if you've ever heard of Tinks, but she is like this influencer girl, and she says 80% of people are good. They are good, normal people. It's the 20% that are weirdos. Okay. The odds of you like kind of had a fallout with one friend because she got mad that you were friends with somebody else, the odds of that happening again are very Slim.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03And maybe, maybe if you're that worried about it, just be like, hey, like me, you, and so and so, whoever she got close with should go to lunch. Or like, or just ask her, be like, would you be like bugged if I hung out, like if me and so and so went to dinner or whatever? And if she is, then she's a weirdo, and that's on her. That's not on you. And you can still be friends with the one chick that you said you had a lot in common and you hit it off with.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I but I do agree with her. Making friends when you get older is.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, it's hard. I don't like making friends.
SPEAKER_00It low-key feels like dating.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's so odd because it's really weird. You don't know, like, and for me, especially growing up, I made all my friends to basketball. That was like the only way I made my friends. And even today, like the people I'm very close with are all just from basketball. And so I really don't know how to make close friends outside of that. And so I don't know. I get where she's coming from and like overthinking it. Yeah, no, I agreed.
SPEAKER_03I get it, especially because that had already happened to her. She just needs to go for it, or she just should talk to her friend and be like, hey, like us three, like in a smaller group, or like, hey, you guys come over. Yeah, like you guys come over to my house and like let's have lunch and whatever. Or I don't know. But I just think that is that would be so weird.
SPEAKER_00I just don't feel like it's gonna happen again. I feel like that was a neat situation. Well, I just feel like when you get older, you don't have time to care about that stuff anymore. Yeah, it's just if my one of my friends I introduced and they started hanging out, I'd be like, great, love you guys. Glad you're having fun.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I got stuff to do. Like, I got other things to do. I don't need to worry about you guys' friendship. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03And it's like, I mean, hello. I have I spend like nine to ten hours on my phone every day. Uh I don't care. Like, I don't care. I'm like, hello, like, yeah, go do stuff. I don't care. It's so it's like.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I think she just had bad luck. It was just bad luck.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. It it's the 80-20. It's like that that one weirdo fell in the weirdo 20%. 80% of people are good. Maybe even 85%. Bump it up a little.
SPEAKER_00And they're gonna understand you just moved to a new city. You're just trying to meet new people, meet new friends. No one's gonna be like, why are you talking to these people? Go sit in your apartment or wherever your house by yourself and don't talk to anybody. Like, that's no, you'll be good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But all right. That was a lot of judge jury, but I enjoyed it.
SPEAKER_03I do too.
SPEAKER_00That was good. Um let us know if you liked it because I don't know. Some people like to hear just the random yapping from both of us, but we do kind of well, I feel like I went off on a lot of tangents today. We both did, but but we pretty we caught it, or we kept it within the judge and jury segments.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Alright. Um, you got any last comments? Anything else you want to say?
SPEAKER_03Um, everyone just like, well, I guess it'll be out, but by the time I either get my horse or don't get my horse, but like, Zach, pray for me that I get my horse and text Diane and tell her to pray for me that I get my horse tomorrow.
SPEAKER_00I think what everyone needs to do is start thinking of new names. Because I'm I my bet is you're gonna get this horse. It's a girl.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm. I'm not I'm not changing her name. I really like her name.
SPEAKER_00What is it?
SPEAKER_03So her show name is J.R. Caddy Frenchman. No, what is it? J.R. Caddy something.
SPEAKER_00Oh wow. Okay. And her real name?
SPEAKER_03Her bar name is Ivy.
SPEAKER_00I like Ivy. That's what Megan wants to name our daughter if we ever have one.
SPEAKER_03But and it's just it's quick. Like, you know how I was saying, yeah, J.R. Caddy Frenchman. You know how I was saying like it needs to be like one syllable, like it could just like Ivy. Which it is a little human. I don't know if I love human names, but it's still really cute, and she's a beautiful horse, so it works for her.
SPEAKER_00Love it. There you go. Yeah. I'm excited for this horse search to be done. You've been really, really going hard on the horse search.
SPEAKER_03I have gone and looked at a horse like almost every single day the last two weeks.
SPEAKER_00Well, I think it paid off.
SPEAKER_03If it's meant to be, it'll work out tomorrow. If it's not meant to be, it won't. But if that Texas guy comes in and is like, I'll offer you this much more, it's like, I can't compete with that. That's not fair.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, I get that.
SPEAKER_03But I get that she's also trying to like, this is her business.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's what are you supposed to do? If someone offers double, it's like, alright.
unknownI don't think.
SPEAKER_00But next week, hopefully we'll be in person.
SPEAKER_01Uh yes.
SPEAKER_00For sure it'll be in person with Megan and I, but potentially with you as well. So we'll see.
SPEAKER_03We shall see.
SPEAKER_00Alright, sign us off.
SPEAKER_03Okay, ready?
SPEAKER_00You just close your eyes like you're gonna say a prayer. I thought you were gonna do that.
SPEAKER_03No, I'm just like getting like getting I'm I'm like collecting myself.
SPEAKER_00Like dead serious though, when you did that, I kind of had the instinct of pull power.
SPEAKER_03I'm dead.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's funny.
SPEAKER_03Okay, ready. And that is our episode. Thank you so much for listening. That was episode 25. Can you believe crazy? Listen to us anywhere you find your podcast, Apple, Spotify, YouTube, leave us a review, and we will see you next time.
SPEAKER_00Bye.
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