SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to Legally Friends. I'm Zach. And of course we have Amy. But today we have another special guest with us. She hosts one of our favorite podcasts, The Weekly Trash. She's also Mama Three, based in Utah herself. You've almost done what 250 episodes? Is that right?

SPEAKER_04 0:18

I've lost track at this point. Did you do your homework? Is that what it says on chat?

SPEAKER_01 0:22

That's what it said.

SPEAKER_04 0:23

Okay. Then I believe it.

unknown 0:25

That's important.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

250 is a lot of episodes. Josie Van Dyke. So we okay. This is what we typically do. Okay, right? Every we typically go with our opening statements. We talk about what we what happened during the week, any crazy stories. So we'll lay we'll leave you to kind of think about it for a second. Okay. See if you have anything to share. You don't have to.

SPEAKER_05 0:45

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

So we'll go to actually I'm going to start. I'm not going to let Amy start this time. I'm going to start. I'm sick of Emily. Emily and Megan are working on our home remodel plans. So we have the house and there's some small updates. We're going to do some things to the kitchen and the floors. And so designer Emily is stepping in to help us.

SPEAKER_04 1:09

That's a new endeavor of hers, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Yeah. She's been doing it for like what last like six months to a year?

SPEAKER_03 1:15

Well, she's always like designed her own houses or like, I mean, she hires designers, but she is like heavily, heavily involved. And then um, my aunt is doing like this massive remodel, and she didn't want to hire a designer. And so she would call Emily for literally everything. And then Emily was like, you know what? Like, I'm just I'm gonna do everything. So that's kind of how it started was with my aunt. And now she does like little projects for her friends. Got it, got it. And now she's helping you.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Yeah, now she's helping us. But the scale of homes that she has worked on has been a little bit different than ours. And I think the scale of the budget is significantly different. And so now I have Emily and Megan going and scheming and making plans for buying things that they want to put in the house. And for example, Megan was telling me that they're gonna buy these faucets and they were $2,000 each faucet. I was like, that's not gonna work. And then of course, I'm the bad guy. They start yelling at me, like, Zach, you don't understand what needs to go in the house. You don't understand how much it is to buy these different things. I was like, what are we talking about here? Like, I can go to Home Depot and get a faucet for like 70 bucks for a cheap one and maybe go up to 500. But it's the brand name. It's always the it's not this brand. I'm like, who cares about the brand of a faucet?

SPEAKER_04 2:42

The Scala Girls care.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

Yeah, exactly. The only people that will ever care. I literally I said I have to approve every single purchase because I have to know what we're buying. And this isn't to be controlling. We can't afford $2,000 faucets. We can't afford the most high-end stuff.

SPEAKER_03 3:00

In Zach's defense, when it comes to home stuff, obviously it can get very expensive very quickly. And we're not the best with like keeping a budget. And so, like, Zach has to like be on top of it, or else he's gonna wind up with a bill and be like, what the F is this? And then Emily and Megan are gonna be like, we didn't even know. So, in his defense, like it is very much needed that he has to be like on top of it.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

And for context, a little bit more on the uh Scala sisters. They don't know how to look at a price tag. There's times I'll go to the store with Megan, put something in the car. I'm like, how much was that? Like, why can't you pick a different one? She's like, I don't know how much it is. Or she'll come back from the store and I'll be like, How much do you spend at the grocery store? I don't know. I'm like, this is I literally cannot let her go to the store by herself because she always buys way too much, and Amy's known for this too. It'll be spend like $500 at the grocery store for three people. And it's like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_03 3:59

So because when you're just shopping, it's like and you're like, oh, that looks good, throw it in. Oh yeah, maybe I'll eat that. Throw it in. They're necessities.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

You take two bites and you, you know, you guys are done. You throw it away. Anyway, so that's been my week. Just the home remodels, trying to keep everyone on track, being the bad guy.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

No matter the budget, I feel like that is how it goes when you're buying a home, building a home, renovating a home. That's just the way the cookie crumbles.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Whatever. Josie knows about this. Her her husband's in real estate.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

If we should move, if we should, what should we do? Because our mortgage, we basically live for free. But like, this is not my dream house. This is not. So it's like, do we put money into this and like redo the whole house? Or do we save money and go build a house, but there's no land? It's like very complicated. I love where I live. I just wish I couldn't see my neighbor's backyard. I want privacy. I want a view. That's why I do like where I live now because it's like really pretty views. But I don't know because we basically live for free. So I'm like, why would we leave? But then I also want to be a bougie little bitch and get the hundred thousand dollar oven. You know, the two thousand dollar faucets, too. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard luck. You deserve it. That's what I said.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

True.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

That's what I said.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Amy, what happened this week for you?

SPEAKER_03 5:26

Um, I am currently in the market for a horse.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

I'd like for a man. I was gonna say about time.

SPEAKER_03 5:34

Now I've given up on men. Bye-bye. I'm just looking for a horse. What kind of horse? A quarter horse. I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

What is that?

SPEAKER_03 5:43

It's just like a breed. It's it would be like looking for like a labradoodle or like a lab or what color is a quarter horse? Oh, they can be any color.

SPEAKER_04 5:54

Okay, do you have a preference? No. They can be an okay luckily preference of color.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Thanks, Josie's. Thank thank you, Josie, for being here to really just pull the answers out of Amy.

SPEAKER_03 6:06

Yeah. I do want, I want a gelding, which is a a male horse that like got neutered. And a gelding can be any color. It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_04 6:15

But this would you like a little spotted one like that?

SPEAKER_03 6:19

Yeah, like a dapple horse. I that's pretty. That looks like a draft horse.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

If you throw out one more horse term, I'm going to lose it.

SPEAKER_03 6:26

Sorry. Sorry. She's passionate about something. I am passionate.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Well, no one knows what you're talking about. A draft horse? A dapple horse? We don't know.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

It's like a it's just a breed. It's like when somebody talks about their stupid doodles that I have like an irrational fear of. Anyway. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

You love your horse.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

I want a gelding. I to wrap this all up in a pretty bow. Please. I want a gelding because they are like known to be like nice teddy bears, where like girl horses, mares, they they can be real bitchy. Which is a horse term. Yeah. I don't, I don't wanna, I don't, I don't wanna. And they're sweet. Like I've I've ridden girl horses before and they're nice, but like they have a stigma that they can be bitches.

SPEAKER_04 7:12

Do boy horses cost more than girl horses? Or do girl horses cost you can breed them?

SPEAKER_03 7:18

Stallions cost more because they're not neutered males a stallion, a boy or a girl.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

We don't know.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

A stallion is a boy with its balls. A stallion is a male horse with its balls to impregnate another male. So they are typically more expensive, but they are like free, they can be freaking psychos. Like they can be scary, they can be really scary. Yeah. So, but there are also stallions who are really nice.

SPEAKER_04 7:43

Amy, I'm so happy for you that you have the horses. Because for a long time I was like, what is Amy gonna do with her life? Like, Amy, what is she gonna do? And then I see you posting about these horses, and I'm like, she did it. She found her thing.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

You found your thing, I found my passion, and it's horses. And I just like I want to talk about them and no one will talk about them with me.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

On that note, Josie, anything you'd like to share from your week? Enough about us. Let's let's talk about you.

SPEAKER_04 8:09

Okay, let's talk about me. Let's see. This week, well, I was in New York City. That was gonna be fun. Doing what? Um, I did some podcasts.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Your April Fool's joke of when you bought an apartment ago. No, I almost lit up and I was like, wait, why are these videos so old if you just bought it? But then I was like, it's an April Fool's joke.

SPEAKER_04 8:29

Rachel swiped up and she was like, not me believing this now when it's like an old video from like three years ago. And I was like, I'm actually insulted because I look so fugly in those videos. And I'm like, you think that's present day?

SPEAKER_01 8:42

Like, I've Rachel's the most gullible person on this planet.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

She is so gullible. When I first saw it, I was like, oh, she's doing like a montage of like when she first went to New York City, and I thought it was like gonna get older and older to like present day, and then it never did, and I was like, oh, that's when I was like, it's a joke.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

No, I was that was my favorite prank I ever did, and it I was so evil genius because I screen recorded someone's like TikTok of like a home tour of like an apartment tour, and then I like cropped it so it looked like it was mine. Yeah, I put a lot of thought into that, but then this year I was in New York on April Fool's, and it like reminded me, I was like, Oh, I need to repost this because I'm I'm never gonna be able to top that, like ever. Yeah, so but yeah, April, did you guys do April Fool's jokes? No, no, no, pretty late.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

We're not like big April Fool's, like I love pranking people, but like we should have done something a little better.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 9:35

My favorite pranks, Amy, or when you call and say that you're in jail. Yeah, that was honestly, it's unbeatable.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yeah, that was a good one.

SPEAKER_03 9:43

I'll never, I'll never top it.

SPEAKER_04 9:45

Yeah, um, okay, but something fun that we can talk about that happened to me is I posted a podcast clip because my friend Jessie, she was on Call Her Daddy, talked about her divorce, whatever. And the name of my podcast episode where I talked about my trip with Jessie, I titled it Call Her Divorced instead of Call Her Daddy. And I like so clever, right? I post a clip on my TikTok being like, call her daddy, more like call her divorced. And it hit the wrong audience, okay? It hit the Alex Cooper fan audience, and they all thought I was saying that she was getting divorced. It has like two million views right now, and people are eating me alive, calling me like click baiter, rage baiter, like she's not getting divorced, like you're pathetic, like why would you make shit up?

SPEAKER_03 10:30

Like I thought, I thought you were gonna say that people thought you were getting a divorce.

SPEAKER_04 10:36

Oh no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

No, they thought I was saying Alex Cooper was getting a divorce. Oh, I that would have never even entered my mind.

SPEAKER_04 10:42

Right? But it it that's what happens when your TikToks land on the wrong side of the internet because anybody who like knows the situation would have never even that would have never crossed their mind.

SPEAKER_03 10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:52

But they immediately went to Alex Cooper, and now I have so many people who hate me and think that I'm like you have the daddy gank. Yeah, they're like, you're starting rumors about Alex, like oh my gosh, it's crazy. People are so publicity is good publicity, yeah. That's what I said too. Well, and it was on my podcast clip TikTok page that I never checked, so I didn't even know it was happening, and then I went and looked, and it was like a million views, and I was like, what is going on? And just like all the comments of everyone being mad at me, and I was like, Oh, yeah, well, but I kind of loved it. I was like, any attention is good attention, you know?

SPEAKER_03 11:26

Yeah, it's true. Okay, so I have a question about this. Yes. So did you go with Jessie to like the call her daddy studios? No, they wouldn't let me.

SPEAKER_04 11:36

I was so good. That whole trip turned out to be a complete shit show because once Jordan like filed and it like all blew up, they didn't want Jesse to be seen anywhere because we went to like go to parties and like do stuff, but then she wasn't allowed to be seen. So then we just like went to the hotel, and then they already had told me I couldn't go to Out Scooper because like she could only have like three people, and it was like her publicist, her manager, and PR people. So I was like, then why am I here? And I just flew home. It was so depressing.

SPEAKER_03 12:04

That is really depressing.

SPEAKER_04 12:06

Yeah, and I was so I wanted to see like how they do it there, like the setup, and yeah, because it's like a full-on production, like if yeah, and like watch it live, like that would be so cool, so cool. So I was bummed, but it is.

SPEAKER_03 12:20

I mean, I loved her episode. I thought she did so good. I thought she did really good.

SPEAKER_04 12:24

She's made for this life. She, she's she's great.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Let's keep going with this though. You do the dumpster deep dive on everybody. Yeah, we're gonna do it on you now. Ooh, asking questions, get to know you a little bit more.

SPEAKER_05 12:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

We're gonna call it the dumpster deep dive deposition since we do the legal terms, you know. And so now you're the witness. We're gonna ask you the questions. Tell us about your upbringing and your family.

SPEAKER_04 12:49

Let me tell you where I came from. Um, I have a mom and a dad, Jim and Janice. Shout out all Jays. Jim, Janice, and Julia. That's my sister, my mom, and my dad. I should have got two for me, for Josie. Yeah, it's actually ugly. I don't know why that's not on there. It's actually really ugly because I got it before like fine-line tattoos were a thing, so it's like really ugly, but I'm not gonna get it taken off. So, anyways, Jim and Janice, they, my mom's really Mormon, my dad is not. They worked on the cruise ships. My mom was a dancer, and my dad was a scuba instructor. My dad was a slut, and my mom was a virgin, and he somehow tricked her into falling in love with him. And they got married. I lived in Florida, they had me, and I grew up in a home where my dad obviously wasn't a member of the church, and my mom was. So it was very like gray household type vibes, which I didn't realize how not normal that was until I've gotten older. And I see like how many people do not understand the gray area situation. Where to me, I'm like, it's not that big of a deal. Like it, like it's just like whatever religion's like whatever to me.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

What was that like growing up? Was it your mom pulling you to church every week? Was it your or is it kind of up to you?

SPEAKER_04 13:52

They they were super like supportive of each other. So my dad would come to church with us.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_04 13:57

Okay, he just like wasn't a priesthood holder, didn't do any of that stuff. But like he believed in God and he like read the Bible, but like he chewed tobacco and he drank and like weed and all those things. So like he never really wanted to be like an actual active member of the church, but he would come, you'd be supportive. So I didn't like think anything was that weird because I had friends whose dads weren't members, but like they went to church without their dads, and it was like very contentious between the mom and the dad, but like that's just not how it was at all. It was like, oh, Sundays we go to church, but like we aren't really your typical Mormon family.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Did that make you feel some type of way though? Like not being the typical Mormon family living in Sandy Utah.

SPEAKER_04 14:37

The only time it did is when we would have like girls' camp and stuff, and they would talk about like your eternal family and like getting priesthood priesthood blessings before school and like all those things that I could not relate to. But if anything, it kind of showed me that people can still be good people and not be religious and not be in the church. So I think it was kind of like the best thing for me because I necessarily don't think I'm a religious person. Like, I I don't say I'm Mormon anymore. Like, obviously, my records are in there and I'm not gonna like take them out. But like I would never, even since I was a teenager, I would never be like, oh, I'm super religious. Like, I've always just kind of been like a spiritual type person, and I never thought I was that bad of a person for that because I had examples in my life that weren't Mormon and that were really, really good people. And so I was like, Oh, it's not that big of a deal. Where like my friends, that's their whole life. Like, if they're not Mormon, they're a bad person. And I was like, that's so interesting.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

No, I I mean, not to still your thunder here to tell you stories, but I I feel like when I grew up too, I mean, my both my parents are members of the church, but it's like kind of what you were taught is like if you're not a member, like that person is like you're bad, or you're a sinner. And so you would always not like disassociate with people, but like people at school that weren't the same, you'd always be like, oh, like I know they're not members, so like they're not the same as me.

SPEAKER_05 15:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

And the best thing that happened to me was like going to school outside of Utah. I met some of the best people I've ever met that weren't members of the church, obviously. And they're like far and beyond, you know, a lot of people I know in the church that are supposed to be such great people. It's interesting to have that dynamic. And I could imagine have like in your own house to where you know people like your own friends are judging your dad, or like because he's not a member or something like that. I think that would be tough.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

Yeah, I do feel like there is, and I feel like it is getting like so much better than like when I was growing up, there is like an elitist almost like, oh, you're not Mormon. And like both of both sets of my grandparents, um, they're all converts. I like to say that my grandma was like kind of like a melting pot of all religions because she was in, she like spent a big chunk of her childhood in a Catholic orphanage. And so she would, she would like listen to like we would always have on her TV, she always had um like a Catholic priest like preaching on her TV and she loved it just because they were talking about God and Jesus. And so it never like, I never was like, oh, you're not Mormon, like I can't be friends with you. But there were a lot of my friends that like couldn't be friends with somebody because they weren't Mormon, or like I like my best friend in elementary school, she heard she was over at my house and she heard Emily and Rachel fighting. And I think Emily called Rachel a bitch, and she like cut me off, stopped talking to me, told me I like wasn't a good Mormon. I she wasn't allowed to be friends with me. Her mom called my mom and was like so appalled. And I was like, it's a sister fight. They were like fighting over a bra. Like, but that is like very like Utah. Like people who don't live in Utah, they don't get it. Oh, they have no, they have no idea.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Last tangent for me, and then we'll go back to you was I played on the basketball team, and this kid that I was at practice with every single day for like a year straight. One day I came walking out of seminary and I saw this kid. Seminary is like, we would in Utah, you get to take that as a class. It's literally you go take a class every day that's just about the church. And so anyway, I came walking out and he was like, Wait, you're you're Mormon? I was like, dude, what? I see you every single day. Like, yes. He's like, but you swear. Like, how are you Mormon? I was like, dude, like, give me a break. But it's just that's just how it is. And also, I had to clarify, it wasn't I wasn't taught that by my parents that they were bad people because my mom will listen to this and she'll think uh she's gonna be like, I never did that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:46

So anyway, she listens every episode.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Yeah, she does.

SPEAKER_04 18:49

Oh, my mom knows not to listen to my episodes.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Hopefully, my mom will get to that point too. But anyway, back to you when you're growing up.

SPEAKER_04 18:56

But yeah, that's how my parents raised me, very gray area household. And then in high school, I was like the funny, loud, obnoxious. It's actually funny when I look back on it now because I'm surprised that my friend's parents weren't like, don't hang out with Josie, because like I was a lot. Like I was I've always been inappropriate, I've always been a little vulgar and promiscuous and just special. Like, I've always just been that way. And so in high school, I got like most likely to be on SNL, and I was always the class clown and things like that. And I was a horrible student, like horrible. I got a 1.9 in high school. I wasn't getting my MBA in anything. I just like that. School, school was not my thing at all. But I played soccer like my whole life, and I was like, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna play college. And I got my I got a scholarship offered to BYU Hawaii, which again was like, it was exciting, but also I'm not a BYU girly. Like I my senior year of high school is when I kind of experimented with partying, which in Utah partying is like not really partying, but like I had a sip of alcohol for the first time and like I was being rebellious, okay, which that's a whole other story. Um clutching my pearls, Josie. Yeah, yeah, I know. I was naughty, naughty girl. Um, and so I was like BYU, like I don't know how that's gonna work, but Hawaii, like, that's gonna be so cool. But then my GPA was so low they took it away. And I was like, oh. And then I had like no idea what I was gonna do because I didn't want to go to school. Like, I didn't want to go to college. I hadn't, I I actually wanted to be a therapist, but I knew I wouldn't be able to graduate college to be a therapist. So I was like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. I just know I love talking to people and I think I could help a lot of people and I can read people's energy, but I know I'm gonna fail at school. So I just was like, I guess I'm just a loser. And then that's like when my mental health was like at its worst because I was like, I have no purpose. So like imagine like basketball is your whole life. And then like all of a sudden you're like, what the heck am I supposed to do with my life? Like, since I was six, it was like I'm gonna play college soccer.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

Like, I still feel like that like every day. Oh, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_04 21:11

I'm sure it's like it's a it's a crisis. You like don't know who you are anymore. You're like, this was my whole identity. And so I like really, really struggled, and I like went down the party scene, lived in Salt Lake, which if you don't listen, Sugar House? Yes, yes, and like if you don't live in Utah, you don't know like sugar house, the avenues, like notorious, yeah. Lived in sugar house with some other girls from school, and I just lived up that party life, but it was like it came from a place of just like insecurity and feeling so lost. It wasn't like, oh, I want to have fun and I want to be carefree and chill. It was like, no, I'm so depressed. I just want to like escape how I'm feeling. And so this is where the dark stuff comes in, Zach. So, like, buckle up.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

This episode contains discussion of suicide and mental health struggles. Please take care while listening. And jump to minute 24 if this is triggering for you.

SPEAKER_04 22:03

I became extremely suicidal. And so then when I was living with these girls, I almost I I don't want to say I almost attempted because I had my plan and I knew what I was gonna do, and I was writing my letter. And I wrote my letter and my all my roommates were having a party upstairs, like as I was doing this, like going through my ideas and how I was gonna do it. And it was like I had this like outer body experience where I like thought of my mom and I was like, I cannot do this to my mom. Like she will she'll be devastated. Like I just can't do this to her. So I ripped up the letter, I didn't want anyone to find it, and I stuck it in my purse. And then I want to say it was like Thanksgiving break or something. So I went back home and I had my purse and it was in my car, but my car was technically my parents' car. And my dad was a very much like a strict country southern man, which is another reason why I wanted to leave my parents' house the minute I turned 18. Because I was like, he's scary. I don't want to live with him. But he was like, I'm gonna go take your car for an oil change. Give me your keys, like, I'm gonna take it. So he took my car and being like the strict parent that he is, he went through my car and looked through every nook and cranny trying to find something. And my purse was in there, and he found the letter and he taped it back together. Oh wow. Yeah, like he was intense. Taped it back together and he read it, and he obviously was heartbroken. Um, and he told my mom, and then my mom and him told me I had to move back home. And I was like, honestly, it was like the best thing ever that my dad found it, but obviously I was like so embarrassed and just like so confused because I was like, I I'm fine now, like I'm not gonna do anything now, it's gonna be fine. But I knew like deep down I I was still not okay. And that whole time frame is like kind of a blur. Like, I feel like the memories of that time I don't have a lot. But basically, I got put on like suicide watch and I moved back home. And then I like went down this path of like, I'm gonna be a really good Mormon. Like, that's gonna save me. I'm gonna go to my bishop, I'm gonna repent for my sins, like all of that. And that's when my husband came into my life. I downloaded Tinder, which is not like a Mormon thing to do. And back then, like, mutual wasn't a thing, like Tinder was the dating app. So I downloaded Tinder and I was with my roommates, not my roommates, I was with my friends it at the village in Provo. Because I still lived at home because my parents didn't trust me to be by myself. So I went and visited my friends at the village and I was like, guys, I'm gonna download Tinder, we're gonna swipe right, and then whoever I match with, I'm gonna tell them to get their friends, and like we can all just like hang out and like make out. Like very just like again, I was trying to be Mormon, but I was still a whore. Like I couldn't, I couldn't help it. So I matched with my husband and I immediately message him and I'm like, hey, you get your friends and I'll get my friends and we'll all make out. And he responds, yeah, I was very forward. Like I had no problem being forward and flirty and a whore, basically. And he responded and he was like, Oh, you sound great, but I'm going to sleep, which is like so my husband's vibe. Like he's an old man, like not like we're polar opposites. And his roommate, he told his roommate the message and he's like, Well, let me see her friends. And so his roommate looked over at the pictures of my friends, and of course they're hot. And he was like, No, you have to invite her over. And so he was like, Okay, fine. I went over. We made out that night. Wait, just you? Me and my and my friends. And it was like so awkward because we were all just kind of like, What's going on? Yeah. And my husband had just bought his first truck, and he was like, Do you want to go stargazing? And I was like, which is, you know, code for like let's go make out. And I was like, Yeah, let's do it. And so I ditched them at this random house, and I was like, bye, like, I'm gonna go make out with my return missionary. Like, see you later. And we went up to the mountains and they stayed back and watched Breaking Bad with his roommates, like so awkwardly. So, did they make out with your roommates? No, no, no, they were just like being your wing woman because they were goody goody two shoes, like got it, they were not about to do anything, they were just there to support. And I told him, I was like, you guys don't have to stay here because I'm gonna be out all night. Like, I was like fully aware that I was gonna be making out all night long. But the funny thing is, is I think we left his house probably at like 11 p.m., 10:30, 11. We did not kiss until like 4 a.m. Oh wow. So you really were out all night? We really were talking all night, and then his alarm went off for the gym because he played College Lacrosse, and so his alarm went off for the gym to like go work out at like 4 30. And I was like, wait, are we gonna make out or what? Like, we haven't made out. And then we made out. Oh my gosh. And then the next day we went on our first date, and then a year later we were married. Wow, and yeah, I love the story of the story. That's a good story. So cute. Q, I don't know. That's pretty cool, but that just shows like my level of I'm very confident and forward. I'm like, I know what I want, and I'm gonna get what I want, and I want you, so we're gonna get married. I love it. He had no choice. Yeah, he didn't have a choice. Yeah, yeah, no. And we're still polar opposites.

SPEAKER_01 27:14

Has that forwardness ever got you in trouble?

SPEAKER_04 27:16

If anything, it's gotten me everything I've ever wanted.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

Really?

SPEAKER_04 27:19

Like, there you go. I I feel like maybe some people might think it's trouble, like certain situations, but I also am not scared of confrontation either, obviously. So, like if I get in a situation where being forward maybe gets me in sticky water and it's like it brings up an issue. To me, I'm like, oh, that was an issue that would have came up at some point. So now we get to like resolve it and work through it and get past it sooner than later. So I wouldn't say it's ever gotten me in trouble. It's just gotten me further in life. And I my daughter is my mini. So I already know we're in for something because she's I wish I was more forward.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Yeah, just get it all out there and deal with it.

SPEAKER_04 27:55

Yeah, but that also means that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. But I don't think I can I think anyone can say that. Like, yeah. So it's like uh, whatever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

But you've done 250 episodes. Has that ever caused any friction on one of the episodes that you remember that was like an awkward moment?

SPEAKER_04 28:14

No, because I'm I don't know. I feel like that's a good question for my guests because maybe they felt really awkward at some point and they were just like, I'm gonna pretend, I don't feel awkward.

SPEAKER_05 28:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:24

I do think my interviewing skills have changed a lot since the beginning. In the beginning, it was definitely way more conversational, friendly, banter, but it was also because they were my friends and they were like So kind of like what we're doing. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

It was So we're we're gonna have to adapt and change.

SPEAKER_04 28:39

No, no, but like that this is what I love doing is what it's people I know, but then you get into the territory of people you don't know. For sure. And you have to be a little more cautious of how you say things because you also have to realize that they don't get you. And I am very like direct and sarcastic and forward. And I know that people who don't know me, they might think I'm being a bitch. And it's like that's never my intention. I'm actually really nice and I love everybody, but like I just am very forward. So now when I interview people, I'm I try to like read the room more and like feel the energy and be like, okay, are they gonna catch on to my sarcasm or do I need to rail it in a little bit? Where before, like when I would, when Amy was on the podcast, like I did I let it rip. I was like, I don't have to worry about it. And that's kind of how it was in the beginning. And it wasn't until probably like last year that I had to like really look inward and be like, okay, am I making everyone feel uncomfortable or comfortable when they sit in this chair? Because now I'm interviewing people who don't know me and I can come off a little strong. So I don't think I think all my guests have had a good interaction with me. I would hope. I have, I will say, like, with doing 250 episodes, half of them are all guests, and I don't have bad blood with a single guest. So I feel like that says a lot. Yeah. Um, because in this industry, like people can be shady and two-faced, and I I could run into any one of my guests and like full on talk to them for an hour.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

Yeah, that's cool. That's really cool. I mean, I can tell. I mean, I I well, I met you a couple times, but like we haven't talked too much, but even through this, like I can tell. You're super easy to talk to. And so, I mean, obviously, this is that's why you're so good at it.

SPEAKER_04 30:19

But um, I after my second kid, um, I had a miscarriage, and I was like, So I guess I should go back a little bit. Once we got married, and I didn't have a job, like I didn't have a career, I didn't have goals, I didn't have anything going for me. I was like, what am I gonna do? I don't like horses, like, can't get into horses. Like, I was just like, there's nothing, there's nothing for me. Like, I was just like kind of in the dumps. I went to aesthetic school, ended up hating being an aesthetician. I just felt like the biggest loser. And then I had my daughter, and it was like, oh, this is what I'm made for. Like, I love being a mom. I finally have purpose, like, this is the best thing ever. And I just put all of my time and energy into being a mom. And I lost that like funny version of me that I was in high school that like loved to like make people laugh and be a little crazy, a little vulgar, because I can't really do that when I'm being a mom. So I lost that part of myself a little bit and I didn't really realize I missed it. But then after my second kid, I had my miscarriage and I was just so depressed and like down about it. And I was like, oh, I really wanted a third baby. Like, how am I gonna get a third baby? And I just realized I had no control over when I was gonna get pregnant again. But every day just like seemed like so repetitive and just like the same thing like wake up, be a mom, try to get pregnant. Wake up, be a mom, try to get pregnant. And I was like, I just want something for myself that's like fun and exciting and that can bring out like the fun Josie that's not just like sitting here trying to get pregnant and be a mom 24-7. So I was talking to one of my friends via Marco Polo. I don't know if you guys have Marco Polo, but for sure. Yes. Um, I was talking to one of my friends through Marco Polo, and I was like, wait, we're so funny. And I had like a that's so raven moment, like a full-on vision. And I was like, oh my gosh, we should start a podcast. It's gonna be called Weekly Trash. We're gonna take out the trash once a week. It's gonna be so good. And she was like, oh yeah, and just kind of like thinking that I was joking. And she's like, Yeah, like that would be so fun. I'm like, no, I'm being so serious. Like, we're gonna do it. And once I say I'm gonna do something, like I'm gonna freaking do it. And she was kind of like, um, because she was very Mormon. And I told her, I was like, I don't want to like filter ourselves at all. Like, I want our podcast to be crazy. And she was like, I don't think I could do that because she's the young women's president, teacher, or whatever. And she was like, I don't want the girls and young women's to be listening to us talking about dildos and then like asking about it at church. Right. And I was like, that's very valid. So I basically was like, okay, fine, I'll do it by myself. But I was like, I don't know how to do a podcast by myself. And that's when the idea came for me to have guests. So I had this idea that I would do solo episodes and then I would do guest episodes where I'd dumpster deep dive them and just kind of go back and forth. But I had no idea what I was doing. Like, I still don't know how to use a laptop. But like when I first started the podcast, everything was a one take because I didn't know how to edit. So I would press record, I would talk for an hour and a half, I would put it straight onto my buzz sprout. That's what I would use to like upload my podcasts, and it would go live immediately. Like I there was no thought at like editing nothing. It was one take wonders. If I sounded like an idiot, it is what it is because I don't know how to edit it out. And I did that for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

I remember Megan told me about that. I was like, wow, it's just you go record, and then she said, while you're sitting there, it is going out. I was like, that's that's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_04 33:37

And I also would do it at night too, because I had to be a mom all day. Yeah. I had like a nanny. So I'd be a mom all day. I'd send like my layouts to my guests, and then they would come at like seven o'clock at night, 7 30, 8 30. I can't even remember. I want to say it was like eight because I had to put my kids to bed.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

I remember it was late. It was late, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:56

So they'd come at like 8, 8:30. We'd podcast. And then a lot of times, because I'm a yapper, we would talk until freaking two in the morning after podcasting. And I would be like trying to upload it onto Apple and Spotify as they're like sitting there talking to me. And then I would go to bed at like 3 a.m. and wake up the next morning and be a mom. But I wasn't even tired because I loved it so much. Like I was finally doing something that was like a hundred percent for me and that was like a passion and was exciting. And I was like, this is this is my dream. Like, if I could get paid to do this, like if this could be a job, like how cool would that be? So every time I get a little stressed and like depressed, and I'm like, oh, this is so hard. Oh, I'm like, I'm living my dream. So like I cannot be upset at all because this is everything I've ever wanted is to like get paid to talk for a living. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

What was the moment you knew you like essentially made it? Like you knew this was gonna be a success and you were gonna be able to turn it into your career.

SPEAKER_04 34:52

I don't think I've ever thought about that before because I feel like I still don't feel like I've made it. I have very much imposter syndrome and I have very big goals for myself. And so in my head, I'm still like, oh, this is literally not even close to where I want to be. But that's also a problem because then I don't take a minute to like appreciate like what I have built and that like I have done a lot. But I think the minute where I realized like this could be something, and not just like a delusional, like, because I always thought it could be something. Like from the beginning, I was like, oh, I'm gonna be the biggest. Like, listen to how delusional delusional this is. Before I even started the podcast, I emailed Dave Portnoy, Barstools. Okay, I should find the email. And I literally said, I love that. I said, I'm gonna be the biggest podcast in Utah. You're gonna wish you signed me. That's literally what I emailed him.

SPEAKER_03 35:41

Did he email back?

SPEAKER_01 35:43

No, we're we need a clip. Have you ever clipped that? And like that is legit.

SPEAKER_04 35:49

I literally emailed him that because at that point, that's like when Barstools was like the shit, and like the whole Alex Cooper situation was going on with Sophia, and I was like, Oh, they need somebody on their team. Like, you're gonna want me. I'm gonna be the biggest podcaster in Utah. Like, I was so delusional and so confident. Um, but the moment where I was like, okay, wait, no, like this like actually could be a career where I could make money was I had a brand reach out to me. It was probably like six months in, and they were like, hey, like we want to like send you stuff and like pay for some ads. And it was like 60 bucks. Like it was literally nothing. And I was like, oh my gosh, like I can make money doing this, like I can monetize off of this. And then I went to lunch with or dinner with Maddie Murphy, the host of Bad Broadcast. And she kind of told me she was, I told her, I was like, Yeah, this like company reached out, I got a couple of money, like a couple of sponsors, but it was like literally $100. And she was like, Let me see your analytics. And so I like showed her my numbers and she was like, Josie, you should be making money. Like this, this is not no. And that was when it clicked to me, like, oh, I actually have something and this could be my career. So I always give credit to Maddie Murphy because she showed me that like this could be a real job and career, and I love her for that because I just was doing it for free for fun. Thinking, I was like, this is great. And then I realized I've worked so hard and haven't made any money. I should probably try to make money. Yeah. And now it's a job.

SPEAKER_03 37:21

I love that. No, what you've done is like amazing. Like, I remember so vividly, you like posted on Instagram and you were like, I'm thinking about starting a podcast. Like, would you guys listen? And I DM'd you and I was like, Yes, I would listen. And I sent it to Megan and I was like, she like she has it, like her personality. Like, you're so funny, you're so easy to talk to. I'm like, she's gonna be like the best podcaster. And then I went on, and my mom was like, Why are like you're going on a podcast? Like, and I was like, Yeah, it'll be fun. Like, she's my friend from high school, like it'll be so fun. And now look at what you've done. Like, it's incredible.

SPEAKER_04 38:02

No, it's really cool, it's fun, and that's the that's where I have to be like, Oh, I did something because it might have been like you did, I didn't do anything.

SPEAKER_03 38:10

But I did. No, you've done like so amazing.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

You definitely inspired us to go for it because we're we talked about you many times of like this is how she did it, this is how she got it going, and she started from just doing it, you know, and by herself, no editors, no nothing. And we're like, let's just go for it. She did it, like, let's give it a try.

SPEAKER_04 38:29

That's how people have to do it. So many people try to make it more complicated, like, oh, I need a producer. I need how about you even see if you like it? Like, how about you just like do it and see if it sticks before you put so much money into it where you're like, oh, that was a waste of time. Like, I can I can't even count how many influencers and creators who have started a podcast and have quit within two, three months, because it's like it's uh it has to be like a passion, it has to be fun for you, and it doesn't have to be perfect. Like you have to learn as you go. Like you will develop new skills the more you do it, you'll evolve. Like technically, when I first started, it wasn't a dumpster deep dive. It was just like, oh well, let's yeah. And then like I think episode six that I did with a guest, I was like, wait a minute, trash, deep dive, dumpster deep dive. Like it, like things just like started to fall into place. And so I always tell people, like, when you start a podcast, the way you start it is probably not gonna be the way it is forever. Like it's gonna evolve, it's gonna change, and it's just gonna get better and better and better the more you do it. It's it's like riding a bike. Like you just have to like practice and practice. And then once you get figured out, you got it. You just have to believe in yourself. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 39:46

I think Amy gets sick of me because I send her messages about like things we should try or look at what they do.

SPEAKER_03 39:53

I do not get sick of you. You know who gets sick of you is Emily.

unknown 39:57

That is true.

SPEAKER_03 39:58

I don't send them to this life. No, Emily's like, what?

SPEAKER_04 40:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

She's got a lot of things going on. She's she's she's helping you with your house. She doesn't need to focus on the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 40:10

Yeah, and that that is that's Emily's passion, is design. So yeah. You just gotta find your passion.

SPEAKER_05 40:17

It's true.

SPEAKER_04 40:18

But I'm curious, Zach, what made you want? So I guess I shouldn't be asking you. This is a my interview, but what inspired you to start a podcast with sisters?

SPEAKER_01 40:27

So we were having these long conversations over FaceTime. Like when you FaceTime with any of the sisters, it's gonna go for like two hours sometimes, three. And it's just one time I was talking to Emily, and we were all we would do is get on and just talk about TV shows. And I was like, let's just turn this into a podcast. Like we're sitting here just debating TV shows, talking about things we loved, whatever things we like about it, what we don't like. I was like, let's just get on it and do a podcast. And then I was talking to Amy about it, and because Amy's truly the funniest one out of everybody and the most entertaining to listen to.

SPEAKER_04 41:05

She is. She was one of my number one listened episodes in the beginning.

unknown 41:08

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 41:09

She's hilarious. Anyway, so I was like, well, let's just all do it and see what happens. And so I convinced them. It took a lot of convincing to get, especially Emily, to get on and do the podcast. She was like, at first, she was like, Yeah, let's do it. And then when it got close to actually doing the first episode, she was like, like, what are we doing? We're doing a podcast. Like, this is weird. I was like, let's just see how it goes, let's do it. I think it'll be funny. People like listen to you guys. We got on, and I think she liked like Emily liked doing it. Um, I think Amy liked it obviously more because she she's becoming like the one that does it with me every single time. But I think it's just fun. Like, I love talking to people, I love just lit learning and listening to people like you. Like, your story is really cool. And then I feel like in real life, this is like what our dynamic really is like, where Amy and Emily like are kind of doing the crazy stories, funny things, and I'm kind of like just sitting, asking questions, kind of like listening in the background. And I feel like that's just kind of what it is like when I'm at their house. Like they're over there talking, and I'll like interject with some things in real life. It's different.

SPEAKER_04 42:16

I think it's really good. I think it has a lot of potential. It has a lot of potential, but you can't quit. Oh, yeah, don't quit.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

I mean, I know a lot of people shocked who made it to episode 13.

SPEAKER_04 42:26

No, I actually, to be honest, like I am. You are because I was like, because actually, this is a really funny story. Do you remember, Amy, when you, when Claudia, girl with no job, was on an Instagram live and you guys hopped on it with her? Oh, yes, yeah. Okay, and she brought up that like you guys should do a podcast. Do you want to hear something so embarrassing? It was when I was in a, I was in my luteal phase, okay? So I was like not feeling good about myself. And I saw that she was live. And this was when I was like a huge toaster. Like I listened to the toast every single day. I actually don't listen to any podcast anymore, but I was like diehard Claudia fan. And my dream was to be on her podcast network that she had with Jax, like their toast. TN TNN. Yeah. And so I'm on this live and I see you guys jump on, and she like throws out the idea of you guys having a podcast and being on her network. When I tell you, I sobbed. I cried because I was like, no, like that's my dream. Like I was in a really bad mental state with my period. And I was just so sad because I was like, Amy, they're gonna be so because I know you would, you are a great podcaster. Like, I know you have it. And so you too, Zach, but like at the time, this was just about Amy. And I was like, and I was like, no, they will be so good. And I knew that you guys would be so successful if you did it. And I was just like so depressed that you guys were getting this opportunity and you guys hadn't even started a podcast yet. And so I was like super down on myself. And then I was like thinking about I was like, okay, but like let's be real, like, they'll quit. Like, they'll quit. They're not like they won't keep up with it. Like they're just gonna quit. Like it's gonna be fine. They're just gonna quit. Yeah. I knew how hard it was. Yeah. And so I was like, nobody's gonna do this for fun. Like they're gonna, like, it's it's not an easy thing to do every single week to like talk in a microphone all day and like try to be entertaining. And so I was like, fingers crossed, I was like, if they do it, like they'll just quit. Like they just will quit. And then you ended up not doing it, obviously. But then as I got my own success and I wasn't like in that scarcity mindset of like, nobody else can do this, like, because that that I had probably only been doing it for like four months, maybe. Like, I just was so not secure in like what I was doing yet. And I just knew that you were so much cooler than me that I was like, she's gonna steal, no, she's gonna steal this thunder that I have going. Um, but once I like got out of that scarcity mindset and I was like, no, like I know that people who are made for this should do it, and like it's really good. I've always thought about how like you should start a podcast. And I think I I've told you that before too, of like you should start a podcast. And so when you did this with Zach and Emily, I was like, finally, like finally they're doing it. And instead of being like, Oh, I hope they quit, I was like, I hope she doesn't quit. Like, I hope they actually do this because it could be really, really, really good.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

So you know, I mean, thank you. And isn't there a stat that like 90% of podcasts or even 95 make it to like four or five episodes?

SPEAKER_04 45:23

Yeah, they all quit. Yeah, and that's what I was banking on in the beginning.

SPEAKER_03 45:27

Yeah, I feel like you see it like on TikTok, like all the girls, like when they're like all to all your girlfriends are together and they're talking and whatever, and everyone's like, oh, we should start a podcast. Like, people think it's easy, and it's really not like honestly. I was like, Oh, yeah, like we'll just get on and we'll chitty chat, and then it'll just be like our FaceTime calls, and then we'll get off and whatever. And there is so much more that goes into it, and it's so draining.

SPEAKER_04 45:53

Yeah. Yeah, it's a lot of energy. Yeah. Especially the bigger you get. Like in the beginning, when it was a one take, you could not pay me to do a one take now because I cut out so much. Like, I'm so in my head, and I don't even read Reddit or any of those pages. Yeah. Because I would have so many people in my head being like, she says this too much, she talks about that too much. Like, I'm just going off my own insecurities and I annoy myself. And so if I thought other people were annoyed by me and I'm trying to podcast, I would edit everything out. Like I would literally just cut the whole thing and be like, Oh, that was stupid. I'm not even gonna upload it. Like, yeah, you have to like get out of your head and be like, it is what it is, I'm uploading it because you could literally nitpick and cut every single thing out, and then you wouldn't have an episode. And that's like that's the hardest part is like not nitpicking yourself and being like, Yeah, we just have to leave it in. Like, just leave it in.

SPEAKER_03 46:48

Yeah. Well, and nobody is like thinking that deep about it, no, except for yourself. Like, you're always hardest on yourself. And like, even I'll still text Zach and be like, okay, like, did I sound stupid or like should I should we take that out? And he's like, no. But like when you're sitting there like thinking about it and you like kind of like start to spiral and you're like, oh crap. Especially like me, I like really am hard on myself because like I'm still like dating to marry, and I'm like, what if like a boy listens to it? Or like what if his mom or sisters listen to it and then he like gets the ick, or like he didn't like what I say, like it sends me into a tizzy. But what I have to say about that is if if that were to happen, they're not your person, anyways. Well, and that's what my mom says. My mom always has said, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person.

SPEAKER_04 47:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

And so she's like, she's like, who cares? Like, you're on a podcast with your sister and your brother-in-law. Like, if they don't like it, see ya on to the next beginning with. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:53

And if they can't take you like listening to this, like listening to this about as you talk, like this is how you normally are. So it means you're gonna have to be someone completely different for them for them to like you. Like it doesn't make sense.

SPEAKER_05 48:03

That'll never work. That'll never work.

SPEAKER_01 48:06

All right. I mean, that's a cool story. I I enjoyed hearing about that. No one understands how much work actually goes into it, and the consistency to show up every single week, it's tough. And we're only 13 episodes in, you know, 50.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

Not only are you doing a podcast, but you're doing like you started doing live shows and you have like meet and greets, like that is And three kids. So and you have three kids and a husband and a family. Like, yeah, that is insane that you're like doing these live shows, first of all. Props to you because thank you. I could never you could, you could no, and like you you do you do these meet and greets, and I'm like talking to my brother and my sister is draining and exhausting, and then having to like put on like your podcast persona and talk to like your family, your friends, strangers that you've never even met, and like kind of like be like banter and like give them energy. Thinking about it makes me tired for you.

SPEAKER_04 49:06

I will say a lot of people say that, and I don't know if I'm just like special or something, but like I thrive on that.

SPEAKER_01 49:16

It's where you get your energy.

SPEAKER_04 49:17

Yeah, like I am just a true extrovert. Like, yeah, there's nothing else about like at the live show or at the parties when I'm meeting people, like the party specifically, I stand there. It's like a wedding, it's a meeting it's like the line, it's like I stand there for two to three hours and I just meet people. I don't do anything.

SPEAKER_05 49:34

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 49:34

That's it.

SPEAKER_05 49:35

That's cool.

SPEAKER_04 49:35

And every time people are like, Aren't you exhausted? I'm like, no, I love this. Like, not only like getting to interact with people, but getting to meet the people who have given me this life, like have given me a career. Like, yeah, I love it. And I hope that never is something that changes about me. And I don't see it changing because I've always been that way. Yeah. But like I know as you get bigger, it's harder because like there's more eyes on you, and you feel like you have to like be perfect and make everyone happy. But like, I just hope that I never lose the personal side of it where it's like I actually want to know the people listening, I actually want to meet them, I want to hang out with them. Because that's like one of the things I love about myself is I just love talking and meeting and hugging and like I love it.

SPEAKER_03 50:21

Yeah, and a little bit down the road, you started having trashers on, right?

SPEAKER_04 50:25

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:26

Do you still do that?

SPEAKER_04 50:27

So the first episode of every year is a trasher.

SPEAKER_03 50:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 50:31

And it's actually funny. The first time I did it, I like went balls to the wall. And not only were they on the podcast, they spent the whole day with me. I took them to get their nails done. We got a facial, we went to dinner. Like I like the red carpet. I was like, That's cool. And but now I'm like, that's so unrealistic. Like, that's actually kind of crazy. Yeah. Um, but in the beginning, I was just like, I just want a community. I think building a community with any business is like the way to go. And so in the beginning, like when I would throw my parties, it was all for free. Like I was doing everything out of pocket, paying for the food vendors, paying for everything. Cause I just wanted people to feel like they had a community. Now I'm not gonna pay for a thousand people to eat. Like, that's that's crazy. But a hundred people, like I could do that, but now it's gone too big where I can't do that. But like the community side of a podcast is like the biggest part. So build the community, make the inside jokes, make them feel special. Cause like your podcast community are the people who love you the most. Like, yeah, my trashers, listeners, like they know me better than my own mom sometimes. Like, my mom's like, What did you do last week? I'm like, Oh, yeah, you would know if you listen to the podcast, but yeah. So yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_01 51:43

I love my but you've also said she can't listen.

SPEAKER_04 51:45

So yeah, she chooses not to listen. She could. Everything I say on the podcast, I would say to her. Like, I will text my mom and be like, mom, I'm I took a gummy. Like, I'm like very honest with my mom. So a little too honest. She actually hates it. So she knows. That is so funny.

SPEAKER_01 52:01

All right. Uh, now we're gonna play a quick game. So this one's called Sustained or Overruled. So I'm gonna read a statement and we're each gonna say whether it's sustained or overruled. Sustained is meaningful you agree. Yes. Okay. Like that's good. Overruled means no, pretty much. Okay. So, first one. Your husband should always take your side over his mother's. Always, like, no exceptions.

SPEAKER_03 52:25

Sustained. Sustained. Unless like you're like batshit crazy and that you need to be like like hospitalized, sustained.

SPEAKER_01 52:37

Okay. Next one. If your mother-in-law shows up to the hospital uninvited during your labor, your husband should remove her.

SPEAKER_03 52:45

Sustained. Sustained.

SPEAKER_01 52:48

Really? Sustained. I'm just thinking about poor sweet Diane showing up to the hospital. Well, she would never do this.

SPEAKER_04 52:55

If my mother-in-law did it, I wouldn't care because I love my mother-in-law. Yeah, yeah. But if but if I was in a different situation where I didn't like my mother-in-law, then my husband should be the one to take her out. But like, if my mother-in-law right now, Katie, shout out, love you, if she came, I'd be like, bring her on in, she can hold the leg. Like, I would love it. But there are women who don't like their mother-in-law. Yeah, and that's where it's sustained.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

Okay. Grandparents do not have a right to see their grandchildren. It's a privilege, not a right.

SPEAKER_04 53:24

Object.

SPEAKER_01 53:26

Object.

SPEAKER_04 53:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:29

What are you thinking?

SPEAKER_04 53:30

Which I think that's a hot take.

SPEAKER_03 53:33

I'm gonna say overruled.

SPEAKER_04 53:36

Oh, overruled. Sorry, not object.

SPEAKER_01 53:37

Overruled, you're good. Overruled. I got you.

SPEAKER_04 53:40

Yeah, overruled. I feel like unless you're unless your parents are pedophiles. Abusers or murderers. Yeah. Like your kids should know their grandparents. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

I agree, but at the same time, and I agree, overruled, but I could see situations where they just show up uninvited all the time, or they're trying to like check their your kid out of school to go do something.

SPEAKER_04 54:06

Yeah, well, now we're talking extremes. That's not uh Michael does that.

SPEAKER_03 54:13

Michael does that. Like, I mean, he doesn't do it often, but like sometimes he's like, I don't want to work anymore. Like, I think he sometimes when he gets really overwhelmed with work, he's like, I gotta take a beat for a couple hours. He'll go check the kids out. He calls it busting them out of school. He'll go bust them out of school, take them to lunch, maybe do a little Shields day, take them back, and then think how much of a bonding experience that is.

SPEAKER_04 54:38

Exactly. To me, it's like I wish I had that kind of connection with my grandparents.

SPEAKER_03 54:43

Yeah, like Isla Rose at least once a week will text my dad and be like, Papa, can you please bust me out of school today? And he's like, No, sweetie, like stay in school. But like I love that she like feels comfortable enough to be like, Papa, come bust me out of school, like you normally do like every couple months or whatever.

SPEAKER_04 55:04

So I just hope my grandkids want to be with me that much.

SPEAKER_03 55:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:08

True.

SPEAKER_04 55:08

Yeah. I say it overruled.

SPEAKER_01 55:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 55:11

That might that might be a hot take, but I agree.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

A man who calls his mom every single day is not ready to be a husband. I say that's overruled. I talk to my mom every day.

SPEAKER_04 55:21

Overruled, overruled. That's like giving like uh toxic masculinity, where it's like, oh, you can't love your mom and be like overly nice. Like you're not a real man if you do that. Like, that's not true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:32

But I will say if you're calling your mom every single decision, every single day.

SPEAKER_03 55:39

Yes. No, like make your own decisions, but also like I mean, if you're just checking in, yeah, I'm always checking in. I can't make a decision without Michael or Shannon, so I guess.

SPEAKER_04 55:51

Yeah, yeah. But you're special. You get a you get a you get a but I'm just a girl.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

You get a special.

unknown 55:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

Yeah, it doesn't apply to you, does it? Going no contact with a parent is self-preservation, not selfishness.

SPEAKER_03 56:06

I'm gonna say overruled, unless, again, unless they're abusers. That's that's what I was gonna say too.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

I say that.

SPEAKER_04 56:13

I just feel like I just feel like nowadays we don't give our parents enough grace. Like, we immediately like go into victim mentality of like, because don't get me wrong, my dad, he was not the nicest dad. Like, I have very hard memories with my dad, but I also remember like he was trying for his first time. Like I was his first daughter, he didn't know what he was doing, and like I know his heart, and he has a good heart, and he never meant to like be as mean and as he was. And I could, if I wanted to, my therapist could give me valid reasons to go no no contact with my dad.

SPEAKER_05 56:46

Sure.

SPEAKER_04 56:47

But like to me, I'm like, that's so not fair because I know I'm gonna do things to my kids that they could go to their therapist and be like, my mom, she yelled at me one time and she told me she was gonna leave me at the park if I didn't hurry. And now I have abandonment issues. Like, you could make any little deal a bigger deal and blame it on your parents. And I've seen people in my life do that and they cut out their parents, and I'm kind of just like that over that? Like, yeah, that's why you're not talking to the woman who birthed you, who nursed you, who nurtured you, the father who paid for you and loved you and took like I just think we hold our parents on this like pedestal where their standards are so much higher than we hold ourselves. And then we we just cut them out for a little something where it's like, are you perfect? Like, look at the mirror. Like we all make mistakes. But if it's abuse or serious things, yeah, but if it's something silly, not even silly, something that you're like overreacting to, there's no reason to go no contact with the people who raised you. Yeah, that's probably a hot take, but no, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 57:53

I think as you mentioned, like our culture is becoming so like, oh yeah, just cut people off. If they're not serving you, cut them off. And like I hate that. What yeah, it's about to serve you, like I don't get it.

SPEAKER_03 58:06

It's I feel like people a lot of times will take like therapy terms or like therapy, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Like um tactics or something and like kind of abuse it a little bit. And I just like legit, unless your parents are straight up any type of abuse, I just like genuinely I don't see why you would have to go no contact. There are some people that I know that are no contact with their parents, and I'm just like you're crazy, like you're crazy, and your parents have given you everything, and it's also your parents' first time being a parent.

SPEAKER_04 58:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:48

And like they're trying to go through life just like you are, and they deserve more grace. And unless you're perfect, exactly, get out of here.

SPEAKER_01 59:00

And as a parent now, I could not imagine having my kids tell me they don't want to ever see or talk to me again. That would be brutal.

SPEAKER_04 59:09

And over and over something that you didn't even realize hurt them so badly. Like you, it was never malicious, it was never in the city.

SPEAKER_01 59:16

You're trying to look out for them or like lead them the right route, you know, save them from a mistake or whatever it is.

SPEAKER_04 59:21

And they hate you. Like it's just that's not fair.

SPEAKER_01 59:25

So stupid.

SPEAKER_04 59:26

No.

SPEAKER_01 59:27

Okay. Last one. Posting your grandchild on social media without the parents' permission is a violation of trust.

SPEAKER_04 59:34

Sustained.

SPEAKER_01 59:36

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 59:37

I'm big on kids on social media. I'm very much don't show your kids, which I know not everybody is. Like, obviously, I know that your guys' family posts the kids. I I would just be really annoyed with my in-laws if they didn't at least ask me and they just like did it when they know that I don't do it. If I did it, then it wouldn't bother me.

SPEAKER_03 59:58

That's what I was gonna say. But if they know I don't do it, no.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:01

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:02

I I agree. That's what I was gonna say. If it like they're like, oh, the mom posts them on social media, then like whatever. Yeah. But if they know, like, do not post on social media, like Megan, for example, she doesn't post the boys' faces on her Instagram. It's either always the back of their head or she like covers it with an emoji. Um, then it's like respect what she does and either do what she does or just don't post the kids.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:29

Like, do your grandparents have big enough followings for it to matter? Like it's just their neighbors around the street. I know. I'm just I'm just playing the other side. I'm just playing the other side.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:38

Not that I I don't think I would ever like throw a tantrum about it. Like, I don't think I would ever put it on.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:42

You want to go no no contact over that?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:44

No, no, I would nah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:46

How dare you disrespect me like that? I'm never talking to you again. No, I don't think I would make a big deal out of it, but I think it would it would bother me that they didn't at least ask or like say something when they know that I feel strongly about it. But like my grandparents, to be to be fair, they probably have no idea that I don't really post my kids. So like they wouldn't even know, but like my parents know.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:09

So and I feel like with influencers, I feel like people just assume that you post your kids. Like if my sister or someone else just posted my boys, like I don't think I'd care. I'd be like, I I can see why you just throw that up there because we it seems like we post everything about our lives. All right, last segment. We always end with what we call a judge and jury, where we have people submit their in-law stories, and then we have to give our advice on what they should do.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:40

A listener wrote in and said, I found my husband has been sending his parents $500 a month from our joint savings for over a year. I never agreed to this. And when I confronted him, he said his parents are struggling and he didn't want to worry me. His parents own their own home, go on two vacations a year, and just bought a new car. That's $6,000 of our money that I didn't know about. He says I'm overreacting because they're family, but am I crazy?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:08

No. I think he should have asked you, and I'm sure she would have been like, yeah, we can help out. It's I don't like that it's like sneaky behind the back, not telling, especially if it's from the joint account.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:22

If it was just from his own account, but I feel like most married people have joint accounts, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:27

Yeah, but I like I feel like sometimes you have like accounts from before you were married. The joint account and behind the back, no, not okay. If he wants to give them $500 a month and not tell her, he needs to do it from his own account. Or just be like, hey, my parents are really struggling. Also, parents, if you're struggling, don't go on two vacations a year and don't buy a new car.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:50

You can tell that she's salty about it too, because she's like, if you're struggling, why do you have a new car?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:54

Like, right. Like, let's maybe save a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:59

Let's budget.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:00

I get this one though. Because like, as a dude, I don't know, I feel like it's my parents, I wouldn't want to out their financial problems and like tell my wife or make them feel um, I don't know. I can see my parents being like, you know, just like help me a little bit, like let's not make this big deal. I don't want it to spread to other family members. So just be like, you know, can you send me a little bit each month? I could see that. And I could see maybe we're maybe I'll just, you know, send it and take it out of maybe something that I maybe I won't spend as much on something that month and I'll just be giving it to my parents. Like I could, I don't know. I feel like that could be normal. Is that crazy?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:37

I would be salty about the fact that he didn't tell me. I'm I'm fine to help out the parents, and I get like not wanting everyone to know, but then like communicate that with your wife. Be like, they're really like either embarrassed or they just like don't want to get it out, and they just need a help, they need a little bit of help for a few months. So like I think we should help them. Great, let's help them. Because I'm sure you'll need help down the line from somebody somewhere. And I think you should always help your family, but don't do it behind your back.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:10

But what if he's worried that you're gonna have that same reaction that you had with like the car? It would be like, oh, like why am I helping them this month when they just got a new car or they just went on two vacations? Like, let's not help them this month. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:22

Well, I would say they must not need help. Yeah. Like I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:28

I'm just playing devil's advocate here, like trying to make it make sense.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:31

You always play devil's advocate, and I get it, but it like actually pisses me off.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:35

Okay, sorry, I'll stop.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:38

No, no, like keep playing devil's advocate, but I'm just like, I would tell my husband, I would say, go to your parents and say, if you're asking for me for $500 every month, let's save some money and push the vacation out a few months or a year. Or unless your car like blew up and is on the side of the road and it's completely dead, we we don't need to buy a new car.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:06

All right. Okay. So guilty. Husband's guilty.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:11

Guilty-ish.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:13

Guilty guilty for being sneaky. Don't be sneaky, just be honest. How hard is it? I don't understand people who aren't honest. Just tell the truth. It's like I you could get so much farther. What's that face?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:25

Okay, you're honest all the time?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:28

Yeah, liar. Are you a liar? Liar puts on fire.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:31

Amy is the biggest liar. You ask her about dates or like certain things. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:36

Okay, you're like tarnishing my character right now. Okay, you're not the biggest liar.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:41

But there'll be things that you you'll withhold the truth, and then six months later I'll find out, oh, this was the full story. And it's like Okay, when he says why can't you be honest the first time?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:50

When he says this, he's talking about like if I'm still talking to a guy or like if I made out with a guy and I'm like, oh, like we only kissed once when we kissed like three times. Like little white lies. Yeah, I love to tell a little I love to tell a little white lie, especially about my dating life. But on serious stuff, no, you're not allowed to lie on serious stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:13

That's the end of that segment. That's the end of the episode. Josie, thank you for coming on. Um everyone go listen to our podcast, follow the weekly trash.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:22

Obviously, the inspiration for us and for I'm sure a lot of other people. So it's cool to see how far you've come.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:29

Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:30

Anything you want to mention to close?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:32

No, just don't forget to take out your trash, y'all. Thank you, Josie, for coming on. That was like a really fun, like full circle moment for us too. I love your story and I love like learning more about you and how you started and everything. You can find us anywhere you listen to podcasts, Apple, Spotify, YouTube, watch us on YouTube, find us on Instagram Legally Friends, TikTok Legally Friends, Amy Scala on Instagram, Josie Van Dyke Weekly Trash on Instagram. And that was our episode. Thank you so much for listening.

unknown 1:07:03

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:04

Bye.